Marriage proposals used to be easy. This is how Corinne Conover, 27, says her parents decided to tie the knot:
"Dave?" her mom said.
"Yes, Barbara?" her dad replied.
"Let's get married."
"OK, Toots."
Dave and Barbara Conover will be married 34 years in January. For them, getting engaged was more a mutual agreement than a formal affair. But what happens to the person who dreams of the bended-knee proposal and doesn't get it? How wrong can the question of all questions go?
"After dating for over a year, my friend started bringing up the subject of marriage to her boyfriend," said Kelly Magyarics, president of a wine consulting company near Washington. "He had already gone through one marriage and divorce, and wasn't sure if he wanted to try it again."
Then one day, Magyarics said, after her friend brought up getting engaged for what seemed like the hundredth time, he flippantly remarked, "All right," and offered a profanity-laced proposal.
Who said chivalry is dead?
Michael Webb, author of "The Romantic's Guide to Popping the Question," has come across thousands of proposals over the years. Webb once held a contest for the best marriage proposals from around the world. Although some of the proposals were romantic and imaginative, others were just plain bad.
"The worst one I've ever heard has got to be the guy who thought his girlfriend had a self-esteem problem," Webb said. "Instead of letting her know how beautiful and wonderful she was, he decided that he should ship her off to boot camp."
In an example of why men really might be from Mars, Webb said the man suggested that his girlfriend would be more confident after losing a few pounds in the Army Reserves, and that she should enlist before getting married.
One of the biggest mistakes a person can make is to turn the proposal into a public affair, Webb said, saying that he had received letters from dozens of men around the country who had proposed to their girlfriends on a ballpark's JumboTron.
"A lot of guys want to make it special for themselves, that kind of machismo factor. They think, 'Let's do it at a Dodgers game or at a big stadium,"' Webb said
Mitch Getz, an assistant production manager in New York, kept the mood quiet and personal when he proposed to his wife. "A crude friend of mine suggested I write 'Will you marry me?' on a piece of toilet paper while she was going to the bathroom," Getz said. "But I was romantic. I proposed in our own apartment after cooking her dinner."
Aaron Calander also chose the simple approach. "I spent a lot of time figuring out how I would propose. When? Where? What would I say?" Calander said. "I talked to friends. I watched movies. I even asked my dad how he proposed to my mom. In the end, I decided that I had to follow my heart and propose the only way I knew how -- spontaneously. I carried the ring around with me for a few days and waited for the moment that struck me as the right time."
All it took Desi Arnaz to persuade Lucille Ball to marry him was a 10-cent copper ring from Woolworth's. Martin Luther King Jr. proposed to Coretta Scott on their first date, which also happened to be a blind date. She didn't accept until months later, afraid that life with a Baptist minister might be dull. Lyndon Johnson proposed to Lady Bird with "Now or never." Lady Bird previously had not been ready to commit, but she married him that very night in San Antonio.
And for women who loathe ultimatums, there is always the option of taking matters into your own hands.
Jessica Seitsinger proposed to her boyfriend of four years, Josh, this past May. "I ended up waiting until we were in bed, ready to go to sleep. I asked him to close his eyes and hold out his hand," Seitsinger said. "Needless to say, he said 'Yes' and was so surprised."
For men or women looking to propose, there are dozens of Web sites with proposal suggestions like Brilliantproposals.com or 2propose.com. While some sites offer personal, intimate ways to propose, others list ideas about as romantic as having the stomach flu. Romancestuck.com offers proposal ideas that include wearing "glow-in-the-dark underwear with the words 'Will you marry me?' " or sending a text message to her cell phone or, perhaps, burying "the ring in a small metal box and have her search around for her treasure with a metal detector."
A recent survey conducted by the Conde Nast Bridal Group found that about 2.3 million weddings will take place this year in the United States. Certainly, the stadiums and amusement parks are there to cash in. Cinderella Castle at Walt Disney World in Orlando offers a $250 engagement package -- including a crystal slipper to hold the ring. Wally the Green Monster, the Boston Red Sox mascot, can be hired during a baseball game at Fenway Park for $100.
Webb still advises a more private proposal. "Most women want something that's an intimate setting, quiet and serene. Just the two of you," he said. "Don't do it to show off. The proposal is about her."
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