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She was a singer on a boat. He was the bar manager. They caught each other's eyes from afar, and soon wedding bells were ringing.
Meghan Hoyt, a 28-year-old Dyer resident, knew the moment she met Joseph Hoyt, 30, that he was the man she would marry.
"I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life," she said. "I wanted the one final step of commitment."
They got married and have the pictures to prove it. But they are in the minority.
Gone are the romantic days of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. In is the debauchery of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. The singles have finally won.
In the United States, 49.7 percent of the nation's 111.1 million households were headed by married couples in 2005; for the first time, there was a higher percentage of unmarried couples than married. The U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey showed that Lake County had even fewer households bonded by marriage than the average in the United States or in Indiana. Nearly 52 percent households in Indiana were headed by married couples, but 44 percent were married in Lake County; 55 percent were married in Porter County.
Out-of-wedlock births in the United States have climbed to an all-time high, accounting for nearly four in 10 babies born last year, government health officials said Tuesday.
While out-of-wedlock births have long been associated with teen mothers, the birth rate among girls ages 10 to 17 actually dropped last year to the lowest level on record. Instead, births among unwed mothers rose most dramatically among women in their 20s.
Experts said the overall rise reflects the burgeoning number of people who are putting off marriage or living together without getting married. They said it also reflects the fact that having a child out of wedlock is more acceptable nowadays and not necessarily the source of shame it once was.
While traditional marriage rates have fallen, homosexual relationships have risen. In the past six years, the number of households made up of gay male partners has risen 77 percent in the Midwest.
On their own, the statistics appear to demonstrate that people are choosing to define their relationships in nontraditional ways. But it's more complicated than that, said Dot Nuechterlein, adjunct lecturer in the sociology and criminology department at Valparaiso University.
The reasons for the demise of marriage range from the fact that gay people are becoming more comfortable with their sexuality, to the reflection of the changing values in our society, and even from advances in medicine, Nuechterlein said.
Marriage rates have been changing for years, and they typically reflect the larger currents in the world, she said. Women are living much longer than men, which affects the marriage rate because women's spouses are dying first. The older women make up a large number of the unmarried people reflected in the statistics.
Also, she said, couples are waiting longer to get married, and therefore their marriages have a shorter lifespan. In the early 1900s, couples chose to marry closer to 30, but the average age dropped dramatically during the major world wars, she said. The ages have gradually risen, and now people are choosing to marry so late, Nuechterlein said, that it has affected marriage statistics.
"I think the delay in marriage is probably a good thing because the statistics that we look at for why people get divorced include the fact that the very young marriages are the ones that typically break up," Nuechterlein said.
But since many decide to wait until they are settled into their careers, marriage has become less of a necessity. Michael Acsbok, a single 36-year-old, realized he could support himself and doesn't need a wife. He's happy to come home to his empty home, where there's no one to bother him.
"As I got older, I got into a comfortable lifestyle that afforded me probably a lot more freedom than I would have if I were married," said the Valparaiso man. Those freedoms include playing in a band and allowing his friends to crash or party at his house whenever they please.
"I have an open door policy," Acsbok said. "I have people over so often that it doesn't really feel like I ever life by myself."
Acsbok's family stopped pressuring him to get married and have children after his sister had a child, so he sees no reason to change his lifestyle.
Sometimes, couples plan on getting married, but the timing never seems to be right. Alina Thompson, 26, and Kris Hahn, 27, met on the school bus in the fourth grade. They grew up in Valparaiso, and while Thompson said Hahn had a crush on her in junior high school, they didn't start dating until after both had finished college.
After Hahn bought a house and Thompson realized she was wasting her money paying rent on her apartment, they moved in together.
"It felt natural," Thompson said.
Finally, all the pieces were in place, and they've talked about getting married eventually, but they are still not in a hurry.
Thompson said, "We'll get married, but right now we're focusing on the house and remodeling."
Others have given long-term relationships a shot, but realize that the traditional route just isn't for them.
Tyona Wesley-Stitt, a 32-year-old Gary woman, was married for 12 years before she had enough after the stresses of everyday life seemed to be tearing them apart. When her husband wanted his career to go in one direction and she wanted it to go in another, she gave him his walking papers and she moved out.
Indiana is one of five states that doesn't track divorces, so there are no statistics on what the situation is here. Nuechterlein says divorce rates in Indiana aren't as high as in other states because many Indiana residents have traditional beliefs and may not agree with divorce. However, it still happens relatively often, again contributing to the lack of marriages.
Being married to her ex-husband wasn't a good situation, but Wesley-Stitt didn't give up on relationships altogether. She moved in with a woman with whom she was romantically involved, and the two have been sharing a household for a year. Wesley-Stitt is officially in a nontraditional household, but she would make it traditional if she could.
"This is someone that I love, and I want nothing more than to share my life with her and to make it complete," she said. "Marriage is one of the things that makes it complete."
While relationships have become increasingly untraditional as people become more comfortable with different lifestyles, some have pushed to change marriage laws to reflect the changing society. Wesley-Stitt is one of a growing number of gay women who wants to be married, but Indiana lawmakers continue to reject alternative notions.
In its past session, the Legislature approved the first in a two-step procedure that defines marriage as being between a man and a woman. If it passes again next year, voters will have the opportunity to decide on a referendum that could put the marriage law in the Constitution, said former state Rep. Ralph Ayres.
He strongly believes in marriage between a man and a woman, and viewed the changing state of marriage as a major problem.
"It is showing a cultural change," said Ayres, who taught high school in Chesterton for 34 years. "It is concerning. Indiana Legislature will vote a second time next year on whether marriage should be between a man and a woman. I vote for it every time."
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