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HE says he sometimes feels like he is 'a monster' when his wife rejects his advances.
Yet, he insists that he has not done anything against his conscience.
When contacted for his side of the story, the 41-year-old owner of a provision shop said: 'I don't see what I did was wrong.
'I'm her lawful husband and with that, comes my right to expect sex. That's normal.'
He added that he loves his wife and that was why he refrained from having pre-marital sex with her.
'I knew she came from a traditional family background where sex was a taboo subject. So despite being tempted, we never went that far when we were dating,' he said.
He said he did not expect things to turn so ugly.
When his wife complained about asthma, he said he even consulted the family doctor who said it was fine for someone who is asthmatic to have regular sex.
He admitted that his feeling of hurt by constant rejection soon turned to fury.
'I felt so insulted. She would have this look of absolute disgust on her face when I touched her.
'Of course, I was furious. How do you expect me to react?'
Despite this, he claimed he had never looked at other women.
'If I wanted to, I could.
'But I don't do that because our marriage is still sacred to me.
'So what did I do wrong?'
LOST HIS MIND
As for the alleged violence and forced sex during the period when the PPO was issued, he said: 'I lost my mind because I was confused.
'She did not not leave our marital home. She even shared the same bed with me.
'I thought she was merely venting her anger when she applied for the order.'
He is aware of her conflicting emotions over their son.
'I want our marriage to work too. I still love her,' he said.
Hubby can be charged with rape under new law
MADAM Lim would have a case against her husband if he still attacks her after the proposed law on marital rape comes into force.
Under the impending changes to the criminal law in Penal Code, a husband can be charged with rape of his wife if she has indicated formally that she wishes to draw a line with him when it comes to sexual matters.
This happens when the wife is legally separated from her husband or when she has applied for a court order to bar the husband from assaulting her.
When contacted, lawyers noted that a balance had to be struck between protecting the wives and also the husbands, who could be framed by allegations of rape by estranged wives out for vengeance.
That's why a report on marital rape can only stand after the wife makes her intention clear through formal application.
CAN'T BE BACKDATED
In Madam Lim's case, she would not have been able to bring charges of rape against her husband for the earlier incidents because the proposed legal changes are unlikely to be backdated.
However, lawyer Nicholas Cheong noted that if she wished to, she would still have a case now, by claiming that her husband had breached the protection order by attacking her.
'Her spouse would likely face a jail term,' he said.
While court prosecution may be an option, counsellors like Ms Adeline Goh preferred the softer approach, especially when the parties still want to salvage the marriage.
'This may be better if it is an isolated incident and the marriage is not beyond rescue,' she said.
She added that a woman's repulsion of sex, such as in Madam Lim's case, could sometimes be due to a medical condition that could be treated.
'The situation could have been arrested if she had sought professional help. She was not only suffering from insecurity and the fear that her marriage was breaking down, she also had a medical condition that she was not aware of,' she said.
She was referring to a condition that causes some women to experience pain during sex.
Psychologist Danny Khoo said: 'In her case, she may feel powerless and that she has an obligation to fulfil. She probably worries about how people may look at her like she's at fault.
'She can make up her mind if she wants to leave that 'guilt', or if she wants to give the marriage another chance. It's also important for her husband to be involved in the counselling.'
This is something that her husband is open to.
He said: 'I have seen Ms Goh twice. Meanwhile, I'm also trying to control myself.'
In the end, it boils down to how men and women view the importance of sex in a relationship.
Mr Khoo, who has counselled many women who are fearful of having sex with their husbands, said: 'To the man, it's 'give me sex and I'd show you love' but to the woman, it's 'show me love and I'd give you sex'.'
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