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Lonely But Not Desperate.
Pretty and Smart.
Southern Gentleman.
In the anonymous world of personal ads, these labels take the places of names.
The system calls for brevity and shorthand because each word in the newspaper costs money, making acronyms ubiquitous: WLTM for "would like to meet," LTR for "long-term relationship," ISO for "in search of."
"Sarasota isn't the easiest place to meet a lot of people," said Carol Twitchell, a Venice psychiatrist, noting that she frequently treats lonely people in her practice.
But the singles are out there: The Real Thing and Incurable Romantic are both looking to meet people, and the personal ads could be more healthy than going out with the next stranger they meet, Twitchell said.
"People don't put as much effort into meeting the right person ... almost screening people, as they do to find a job," she said, noting that personal ads offer at least a level of filtration.
The personal ads in Ticket, the Herald-Tribune's weekly entertainment magazine, typically feature perhaps a dozen same-sex seeking-romance ads. The overwhelming majority are for "women seeking men" or "men seeking women."
We took a look at 237 personal ads in the Oct. 27 issue. Here is what we found:
 The people placing ads were predominantly white looking to date someone who is also white; nonsmokers, much of the time.
Men were more than twice as likely to give their height and weight info, and women were more likely to define themselves as "attractive."
Women who advertised outnumbered men 138-99, while gay men outnumbered lesbians 8-5.
Women seeking men were older than were men seeking women -- by six years, in terms of median age -- with women writing that they were willing to date someone as old as 65 (median age), whereas the men topped out at 50, just three years older than the median age for a SM who WLTM a SF.
Of course, middle figures don't speak to extremes.
The youngest man who placed a personal ad, 18-year-old Finally Legal, was looking for a girl who likes to play video games. The youngest women seeking men were 21, legal to drink, and wouldn't date anyone who wasn't.
The oldest person looking for love in all the "write" places was 79-year-old Something Good, who said she was seeking a man one year her junior -- at the oldest -- for "friendship, possible romance."
Twitchell pointed out that one advantage of using personal ads is that "it's an opportunity to meet a lot of different people."
Of course, sometimes "different" can mean something different from what was advertised.
Carol Morgan, who lives in Boca Raton, makes her living helping lonely people get together. She's been a professional matchmaker for 19 years and warns that people often are not what they advertise themselves to be in the personals pages.
"Just about everyone who comes to me has tried personal ads or the Internet," she said. "And they've been disappointed."
Morgan said she's heard stories of false pictures being posted, or old pictures -- 20 years old, or 60 pounds old.
In some cases, people lie about the most fundamental trait of all: being single.
"These people are often already involved in a relationship, and they're just kind of fishing to see what's out there," Morgan said.
But, liars and exaggerators aside, personals offer something for just about anyone and everyone.
Ad placers in Ticket were looking for people ranging from "H/W proportionate" to "preferably slightly heavy."
One man was in search of a woman "stout of mind" with a "sly body."
One woman was looking for a friend who listens to 2Pac.
Although advertisers contacted by the Herald-Tribune didn't return calls, Twitchell said dating services are not necessarily for the shy.
"In some ways it's risky ... ," she said. "It means having conversations with people you don't know."
And that's where Morgan finds her niche as a social lubricator.
"It's like hiring a best friend," she said -- a best friend who knows a lot of single people.
Maybe someone like Fun, Attractive, Caring, who is a 63-year-old SWPF (the P means "professional"), seeking a tall, humorous, stable man between 60 and 72.
"Available; lunch, marriage."
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