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MILLIONS of parents are embarking on a lifestyle makeover to cope with the dramatic changes brought about by "empty-nest syndrome", according to a new report.
The emotional impact of grown-up children often leaves mums and dads experiencing sadness and loss at the end of an era of family life.
But research from insurance firm Zurich reveals many parents are throwing themselves into a lifestyle makeover, spending cash on their home, car and holidays to combat the depression. It shows that more than half of parents - 52 per cent - miss their absent children, with 42 per cent feeling a significant sense of loss.
But in response to the drastic change in their lives, 42 per cent of parents holiday more often, with more than one-third - 36 per cent - spending more quality time with their partner, and one-quarter taking up a new hobby or interest to occupy their time.
Another symptom of empty-nest syndrome is the desire to re-style the family home - 53 per cent adjust their decor to reflect the change in their family.
Author and psychologist Dr Phillip Hodson, a fellow of the British Association for Counselling, said empty-nest syndrome could prompt anything from silent withdrawal to sudden spending rushes.
"Some parents turn their house into something of a shrine to their children, not touching anything at all," he said. "People can be very bereft. It is particularly difficult for parents whose whole life has been defined by the role as a mother or a father. When you take away the routine and the responsibility, what are you left with?"
He added: "The other side of the coin is that empty-nesters make changes to the house in order to change their own lives to become people in their own right, rather than just parents."
With many feeling the need to keep busy, one-third of parents, or 32 per cent, transform their offspring's room into a study or hobby room. A similar number, about 30 per cent, simply redecorate their child's room, nearly a quarter spring clean, and one in ten re-vamp the entire house.
And it seems many are keen to get on with the changes as quickly as possible, with more than a quarter of parents carrying out renovations within two months of their children leaving.
Dr Hodson's comments were echoed by analysts at Datamonitor, which said empty-nesters spent £38.4 billion on consumer goods in 2003, but were forecast to splash out as much as £46 billion by 2008. It said their annual disposable income is expected to have risen 8.5 per cent to £17,872 from less than £14,000 a year ago, and that sudden increase in wealth often sparked some highly indulgent spending on everything from travel, new homes and new cars, to high quality food, fine drinks and pampering personal care.
"The rapid growth in spending comes as a result of increasing incomes coupled with people planning for an enjoyable and stress-free retirement and a strong desire to reward themselves both for raising a family and for a lifetime's work," said Andrew Russell, Datamonitor consumer markets analyst.
But Dr Hodson added: "Parents should also be aware that children are not like arrows shot from a bolt, but more like a boomerang. They will come back, and they will continue to need financial support in their twenties. The demands for money may not go away as quickly as might be hoped."
Officials with Zurich said those thinking of doing a spot of home improvement should be wary of leaving their revamped home underinsured and should call in professional help when carrying out major projects.
Martin Hall, head of personal lines underwriting at Zurich Insurance, which surveyed 1,190 parents, said: "When adult children leave the family home, it is understandably the end of an era for parents. There is a period of adjustment to go through, and it seems that many parents respond by welcoming change to their lifestyles and homes."
'I can't wait to see new kitchen'
WHEN the youngest of their three children left home for university this autumn, Helen and Alec Robertson pledged to catch up with long overdue renovations at their home in the affluent Edinburgh suburb of Barnton.
Helen, 56, said the couple had avoided spending money on big DIY or home improvement projects in case their children needed the cash.
The part-time receptionist said: "We hadn't really given it much thought until our eldest, Duncan, went away to university five years ago. He went to Glasgow so he wasn't far away, but he wanted to spend a lot of time with his new friends so it was not as if he was coming back here every weekend either.
"We kept his room as it was but threw out a lot of stuff from cupboards. I thought he might be annoyed but he didn't even seem to notice.
"Even working part-time I noticed that there were fewer mouths to feed, less washing to be done and so on. We decided then that we would eventually have the house as we wanted it - a new kitchen to replace all the worn fixtures, and carpets that looked nice rather than ones that were easy to clean mud stains from."
She added: "When the children were young we had pretty much given up making the place look perfect because wallpaper wouldn't last long and they wanted to have their rooms done out in strange colours.
"When they were teenagers they always wanted pocket money for trainers, sports kit, going into town or whatever. Even when Duncan was at university he still needed cash for his rent, and then our middle son David somehow managed to find Edinburgh's most expensive student flat.
"It seems mercifully quiet now but I was upset when they first left. I didn't know how they would react if we started changing the house, although it turns out they don't seem terribly bothered as long as they can still turn up when they want.
"It wasn't until September that we could start planning properly and put money aside to start the work. The kitchen is coming in January, and I can't wait."
ALASTAIR JAMIESON
http://www.divorce-online.co.uk/
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