Too many teenagers who equate jealousy with love explode in violence. And their victims don't know where to turn.
So over the next two weeks, a pair of free programs will be hosted by ImaginOn in an effort to illustrate the difference.
On Wednesday, Children's Theatre of Charlotte will present a performance of "Twist & Shout," a play by the Heart-to-Heart Theatre Ensemble that addresses physical, emotional and sexual abuse among teenagers. Then on Nov. 9, author Patrick Jones will discuss "Things Change," a book about first love that turns physically violent.
Both events are part of an effort to shine a spotlight on a disturbing trend.
According to the 2005 Charlotte-Mecklenburg Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 10 percent of Mecklenburg County teens reported being hit, slapped or physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the past 12 months. Nine percent of teens reported being physically forced to have sexual intercourse, the study showed.
Consequences are potentially deadly: Since January, two N.C. teens have been killed by their intimate partners. In another case, a jealous boyfriend fatally stabbed his girlfriend's younger brother during a fight.
Experts say teens hide dating violence for a variety of reasons, for example, because they are inexperienced with dating relationships or want independence from parents.
"Teen dating violence is a big secret," says Sandy Hammond, coordinator for the Mecklenburg Women's Commission's Teen Dating Violence Programs, during a public forum at East Mecklenburg High School this month. "Teens are not coming forward."
Angela Fitzgerald, a Martin Luther King Jr. Middle School guidance counselor, recalls a disturbing case she handled while working at a Virginia middle school a couple of years ago: A date-rape victim was receiving nasty text messages from her attacker, who was threatening to rape her again. He also sent her e-mails threatening to kill her if she started dating someone else.
It took a month of coaxing, but Fitzgerald got the girl to tell her parents what was going on. The student had saved all the e-mails and the cell phone company provided a call log, which showed when and how often the boy had called her. The family used the information to get a restraining order.
A cell phone also is a catalyst in "Twist & Shout," the Children's Theatre play: A girl's phone rings, her boyfriend grabs it, answers it and says she can't talk. In another scene, he calls her constantly to see what she's doing.
It's a realistic scene.
Said Jane Taylor, shelter service coordinator of United Family Services' Shelter for Battered Women: "It's all (about) control."
Disturbing Trends
•Nine percent of Mecklenburg County teens reported being physically forced to have sexual intercourse.•Nationally, female victims between ages 14 and 17 reported 38 percent of reported date rapes.
•Thirty percent of teens report that they or someone they know has experienced dating violence.
•Of teens in serious dating relationships, 64 percent reported that they were with someone who acted jealous and asked where they were all the time, and 43 percent of these teens said this behavior was OK.
•Fourteen percent of teens in a serious relationship reported being threatened with physical harm to avoid a breakup. Seven percent reported a partner threatened to commit suicide to avoid a breakup.
•In a study of eighth- and ninth-graders, 25 percent indicated that they had been victims of dating violence and 8 percent reported sexual violence.
•A survey of gay, lesbian and bisexual students indicated that 40 percent of respondents reported being hurt physically or sexually by someone they were dating.
-- Sources: 2005 Charlotte-Mecklenburg Youth Risk Behavior Survey, Bureau of Justice Statistics, the National Center for Victims of Crime, Liz Claiborne, Inc. Teen Relationship Abuse Survey, Mecklenburg County Women's Commission Teen Dating Violence Program.
Tips for Teens and Parents
•Talk to teens about healthy relationships.
•Parents should get to know their child's friends and dating partners.
•Text messages can be disabled, but can't be blocked by individual telephone number.
•E-mail addresses can be blocked.
-- Sources: Local domestic violence experts and Verizon Wireless.
MORE RESOURCES
•National Domestic Violence hot line: 800-799-7233.
•N.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence: www.nccadv.org
•WiredSafety has a section on cell phones, IM and text messaging: www.wiredsafety.org
•Liz Claiborne's domestic violence program: www.loveisnotabuse.com
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