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Proposing to keep the romance alive

Date: 2006-10-17

ACCORDING to a survey out this week, romantic marriage proposals are going out of fashion. Almost a third of couples simply "agree" to tie the knot, rather than making the grand gestures of love and commitment about which we so often read in chick-lit books.

Once, many couples met at the local dance, when the man plucked up enough courage to stride across the ballroom floor and ask the young woman on the other side for a waltz. She had to wait to be asked, he had to risk humiliation by doing the asking.

These days, couples often meet as equals and friends, at university or college, at work, or through pals. So I can see why the idea that one half of this supposedly equal partnership has to wait for the other to ask before they enter into a lifelong commitment seems old-fashioned to some.

But I think it's sad that the romantic proposal is dying out. People who just drift into marriage out of convenience are missing something really special. And I say that out of experience.

My fiancé Craig and I look like prime examples of a very modern relationship. We've been together since our university days, and for the past two years we've been working together, building up our online hair and beauty retail site, beautysleuth.co.uk.

And, like anyone who starts their own business, we've been working all the hours God sends.

Just before last Christmas we were at our most frantic. We had so many orders that the entire company, including myself, Craig and our technical director Bob, ended up in the warehouse packing last-minute orders.

Amidst this mayhem, Craig announced that he was going to hand-make some crackers for the Christmas lunch we would be having with my family.

Frankly, with our workload that's exactly the word I was using to describe this activity. I couldn't think of why on earth he was fiddling about with bits of cardboard and tissue paper. We were we so exhausted after a day at work, we hardly had the energy to phone for a takeaway meal. And he'd never been the arts and crafts type of guy. But I let him get on with it - after all it's things like this that made me fall in love with him in the first place.

When Craig suggested we buy little gifts to go in the crackers for everyone, I actually thought this sounded fun after all. We got a mini Bumble and Bumble shampoo to go in my mum's cracker, and Craig some little gadgets to go in my dad's and brother's. But mine, he said, was to be a secret.

The truth is, I had absolutely no idea that anything suspicious was going on as I didn't have time to think about it. We worked right up to Christmas Eve, grabbed our bags and set off for Glasgow.

As usual we stayed with our respective parents on Christmas Eve, and then in the morning a rather bleary-eyed Craig appeared to wish me a Merry Christmas. I was aware that he seemed somewhat on edge - but I merely thought that the world's most laid-back man had either sneaked out for a few drinks with his friends or been up all night assembling his crackers.

The table looked gorgeous and the crackers, I have to say, really made it. As we began to get ready to eat, I noticed Craig had cornered my dad and looked to be trying to explain something in a very complicated way. Little did I know this was Craig's attempt to ask my dad for his daughter's hand in marriage.

During the meal we decided to pull these wonderful crackers, and that's when I got more than I bargained for. From the puff of smoke, out fell a little gold gift tag - on the left side a ring was attached, and on the right side it said: "Will you marry me?".

When I looked up, Craig was on one knee. I was overcome with emotion, but I managed to say "yes" through a blur of tears. My mother had realised what was going on but my father was still oblivious - too engrossed in his key-ring torch to notice!

Needless to say, Craig was as prepared as ever and had remembered to bring some champagne, and so it ended up being a very merry meal. It has got to be the happiest day of my life.

Perhaps in years gone by, having to wait for someone to ask was hard on a woman - waiting until a man deigned to ask her. But when you're the operations director of your own company, such worries don't really apply!

Craig's proposal was wonderful and something I will remember and cherish forever, though the gorgeous diamond ring also helps, of course. It's something we'll tell people when we're celebrating our wedding anniversaries.

It can be tough keeping a relationship alive in our hectic, busy world - for someone who lives and works with their fiancé I know this more than most - and there's no better way to keep things new and exciting than a little bit of old-fashioned romance.





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