|
Dear Bubbe,
I'm a 33-year-old man dating a 22-year-old woman. We have been together for almost two months and have decided to marry. We even set a date, March 2007.
About three weeks ago, she saw her exboyfriend and she ended up being intimate with him. First, she lied about it but then admitted it and promised not to ever do it again.
Since then, she went to work for him in his shop. I admit, once before during sex we joked about each of us being intimate with our exes one more time, so I can understand maybe she got the wrong signals after us joking.
My friends say get rid of her, that she will do this again, but I think it's only human to make mistakes.
LAST LAUGH
MIAMI
Dear Last Laugh,
Whose mistake are we talking about here? Hers, or the one you are about to make if you decide to go ahead and marry her?
Let's see, your girlfriend of four whole weeks slept with her ex-boyfriend, lied to you about it and then went to work for him. So what we know for sure is she is an unfaithful liar and oh, yeah, pretty stupid, too, if she took you seriously when you joked about having ``ex sex.''
Or maybe it's you that's a little stupid if you really believe she is marriage material.
An 11-year age difference at this stage in your lives is a lot. She is very young, probably just not ready to commit to any one person -- and that's OK.
You on the other hand have a whole decade on her of being out there, doing, pursuing and wooing, and now you're ready to settle down. Or maybe you're just tired.
Wait and watch, I say, but I vote with your friends: It's not a good match.
And speaking of cheating, the responses to ''Beyond Suffering,'' (the lady whose priest told her to keep forgiving her cheating husband) keep pouring in.
A reader from Atlanta wrote: 'I agree with your words and I so want her to know that her daughters are watching. I would ask her, `Would you want your daughters to stay around for a man to treat them that way?' ''
Been There in Miami writes, ``She hasn't begun to suffer until that worthless piece of garbage gives her AIDS. If she thinks he cares about her, she can think again. Maybe she should use her head instead of asking the priest!''
And all the way from Michigan, David Pomeroy declares that ``asking a priest for marital advice is like asking a beer truck driver for directions to the local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I find that repulsive.''
Me, I find it inspiring:
Seems he cheats with each woman he meets,
Lives a life that's replete with deceit.
You can pray till you're blue that he loves only you,
But I deem that he's doomed to repeat.
I am in favor of separation of church and mate: Keep the faith, lose the unfaithful.
Write to Bubbe at writetobubbe@aol.com, or visit her at www.bubbesays.com. For more of Bubbe's columns, visit MiamiHerald.com and click on Columnists.
| 
