I can thank Amy Tan for my fear of female babies near bodies of water; when I see an adult Chinese woman walking around, I think she is “one of the lucky ones.” Pearl S. Buck’s The Good Earth shaped my theory that every Chinese couple is in an arranged marriage and secretly hates each other. I'll spare you my unhealthy fixation of older Chinese woman and their feet after learning about foot binding.
So imagine my surprise when my research into modern Chinese dating felt more like a trip into Western culture.
Like the other ways that China has become advanced and competitive with our economy, it has bridged the gap from traditional marriage to modern Western dating practices. My image of loveless unions and oppressed women is now replaced by an all-Chinese cast of “Sex and the City.” The eight-minute date is sweeping the major Chinese cities, and casual encounters and multiple partners are all part of the game. Public displays of affection were once forbidden, but hand holding, kissing, and premarital sex are now commonplace.
According to the China Daily Report, in the past, only two in ten young people used to choose their mate, now nine in ten will. On the flip side, causes of extramarital affairs and divorce have increased significantly, according to the Xinhau News Agency. With the boom of young professionals filling the 200 major cities and the explosion of Internet dating and text messaging, it is easier for people to meet each other based on their own desires instead of their elders’ approval and societal expectations.
This is an especially notable development for women. Where they were once considered the lesser sex, for the first time in the history of social China, they are asking men out and dating multiple suitors at once. The Christian Science Monitor chronicled how the changing face of courtship combined with skyrocketing prices of living in the major cities has spawned a new group of women relying on boyfriends to subsidize their lives. One woman was quoted as saying “a good date is better than a good job.”
While the critics of this social revolution feel that these changes are diluting traditions long held by the Chinese, progressives support the shift because of newfound liberation. The hope is that focus on love and emotion as opposed to tradition and expectation has resulted in more satisfied people; but in any case, sugar daddies, speed dating, and casual sex are just more examples of how the Chinese culture is changing.