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Don't get me started on the so-called Best Cities for Singles. We all know Austin usually tops these lists, but Forbes this year ranked our town eighth behind the booming singles scene in — get this! — Phoenix. And Austin didn't even make the top 10 of AOL's Best Cities for Dating. I say, we don't want to be included on any list that gives the No. 2 ranking to Houston anyway.
These lists make those who can't find dates in the top-tier cities feel like dating failures and give an excuse for dateless wonders living in towns that rank poorly.
Top 10 or not, most of these surveys focus on the straight dating scene.
Author Gregory Kompes included Austin in his top 50 gay-friendly cities of America, though gay-friendly does not equal "easy to find dates."
It could be the opposite.
Is Austin so well-integrated, so "gay-friendly" that the singles scene is a bust?
"There's no gayborhood," explains Cade, 27. "Houston has Montrose, Dallas has Cedar Springs and Denver has Capital Hill. Because Austin is so laid-back, cool and comfortable with gay people, I think that's why we haven't developed our own neighborhood. The only teeny-tiny bit (of Austin) that could be something was Fourth Street."
Now that the straight bars have moved in, it's just not the same.
"In Austin, we're fortunate enough to be integrated," says Charles, 42. Not that he minds hanging at Light Bar and Glass with his female friends — "Charlie's Angels," he calls them — but what's a guy got to do to find a date in this town?
Cade goes the online route, as he's done since he was in high school when AOL chat rooms were actually full.
Brandon, 21, has no idea.
"I've been to San Diego, and there's this street with nothing but gay coffee shops, bars, shops that cater to gay people," Brandon says. "And people in Austin are so ambiguous with their sexuality. There are lots of metrosexuals where you're not exactly sure if they're gay. In San Diego, you go, 'This person's in the area, so they're probably gay.'"
Brandon likes to go places such as the Draught House and Beerland with his friends. He isn't about to switch hangouts — or crowds — by joining an organization where the only thing he has in common with other members is sexual orientation.
Austin, he says, is a good place to be celibate. Somehow I don't think the chamber of commerce — either the gay or "official" one — will steal that slogan.
Friends say he's cynical, but Brandon has a point.
Kompes has traveled the country and says Austin is a "couples town." That kind of environment isn't fun for singles, gay or straight.
"I think (Austin) is a great place for gay families," he says. "It's interesting because Austin doesn't have a formal gay community center. Gay community centers tend to be meeting places. And you guys don't have one. I think that's telling."
Sure, it'd be nice to have one area where you'd be sure to meet at least a few people you're attracted to. But lose the integrated, open atmosphere of Austin? I say no, if for no other reason that I like some diversity in "straight" bars.
Cade, Brandon and Charles beg to differ.
"It's as hard as you make it," Kompes says. "I lived in New York City, and I had a hard time meeting people."
For the record, Kompes' 50 places are not ranked.
"Everyone's No. 1 is different."
I'll say.
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