In the past year or two we have seen a significant decrease in the number of men who are visiting the FSU (Former Soviet Union) to find a suitable marriage partner. This is especially true for America, but also Europe and Australia as well. Why is this? I think there are several reasons.
First, the news media has been very aggressive in reporting any type of terrorist related “gloom and doom” story they can find. I believe this has made many people a little concerned, if not downright afraid, of international travel. Never mind the fact that Russia, Ukraine and the other FSU countries are some of the safest in the world! I have been all over and never felt afraid or in danger, whether in an airport or even downtown in a strange city at night. How many guys could honestly say the same thing about an urban area in America? The tragic hostage incident at Beslan did not help these fears as well.
Because of these incidents, some of the countries in the FSU have tightened their visa requirements. It is much more difficult now for a man to get a visa to enter Russia. Hopefully, this will be a boon for Ukrainian travel, since restrictions have just been eased. It is now possible for an American citizen to visit Ukraine with no visa whatsoever! Perhaps also the other countries of the FSU will see an increase in travel as a result.
Secondly, I think this is a decision that can be very difficult to make. Especially for a man. He is supposed to feel confident and sure of himself. Yet, the decision to travel half the way around the world, to go to a country he has never been to before (and probably never had any desire to before) is huge. The media in the west has portrayed the FSU as the “Evil Empire” and taught us not to trust their leaders. The fact that we were engaged in a long struggle during the cold war times still has an effect on the American male psyche. Even if this is not voiced consciously.
Third, of course is just the uncertainty. How will I know what to do? I have no clue about the language? Or the culture. I certainly do not want to look like an idiot and make a fool of myself. Nor do I want to unwittingly give offense because I am unfamiliar with their customs. I think that the language barrier is a big issue. In Europe and the FSU many people speak more than one language. This is much less true in America. Because of our geography most people have little day-to-day contact with foreigners. The only foreign language we are likely to encounter is Spanish. Russian, with it’s funny writing (the proper term, by the way, is Cyrillic. Named after one of the first missionaries to the Slavic and Russian peoples, St. Cyril) and weird pronunciation, seems very intimidating. Especially to someone who may have struggled just learning some basic Spanish!
I want to try and dispel the myths and help people make the decision to come! I have been to the FSU 10 times since September 2001. After actually living in the FSU for a while I married a wonderful Ukrainian woman. Truly the girl of my dreams! If I had allowed these ideas and fears to overcome me I would be nearly as happy as I am today.
If you are a single or divorced man, having a hard time meeting a quality woman at home, you need to give serious thought to expanding your search to the FSU. Since you are reading this I assume you are at least open to the possibility. Good.
First of all, the FSU is an incredible place to visit. It will be the vacation of a lifetime, if nothing else. The women are incredible. These ladies are well educated, beautiful, sexy, sincere and really want to marry a good man and be happy. Contrary to another widely held myth, they are not all just looking for a “way out.” They want to find a man who can win their heart; someone they can love and make happy for the rest of their long lives together!
It is a very safe place to be. Yes, you do have to take proper precautions, just like back home. In all my time in the FSU I have never felt afraid or threatened in any way. This includes being in downtown areas of major cities late at night, being in areas which might be considered by Americans as “slums.” Nowhere was I concerned for my personal safety. The travel routes are well-used and safe.
Contrary to those old 80’s movies, the FSU of today does not resemble the “Evil Empire” of the past. Yes, the economy is a bit behind most of the West, but you will find the people to be kind, warm-hearted and very friendly. Especially if you try to speak some Russian. They will go out of their way to help you!
Do not worry about the cultural differences or the language. There is plenty of help available in these areas. Contact me and I can help point you in the right direction! Many people do speak some English. The ladies in particular. Of course, many are very self-conscious about this ability since they do not have the chance to practice very often! There are many books and guides out their that can help you to learn enough about the culture so you do not unwittingly give offense. Even some guides that can give you a rough knowledge of the language. Many are written phonetically (as the word would sound, using the English alphabet) and not in Cyrillic. You can do this. Isn’t your happiness worth this little bit of effort?
By Joseph Carducci
|#1 Richard Cox (England) at 2006-12-27|
|Hi Joseph - I enjoyed your article on "Can you afford a Russian wife & this one. |
A point I would make is that Russian and Ukrainian women have been getting a very bad press in the media of our country, I don't know about the U.S.A.
They are described as only looking for a way out of economical hardship and only after a mans money and his home.
The success of novels like "A short history of tractors in Ukrainian" and similar articles and books have damaged the reputation of F.S.U. women very badly.
My own experience has been 50% very bad and 50% wonderful in my search for a life partner.
You do have to be on the lookout for the women that are after just your money e.t.c., they are out there, but most women are only looking for love and security.
All I can advise is , look at any situation very carefully but don't be too wary and reluctant to give your heart.
Hope this helps,
|#2 Richard_S (USA) at 2006-12-03|
|Hello Joseph Carducci, |
I enjoyed your essay, "Do really less...?"
But I do not entirely agree with all you write.
Let me give you my thoughts:
First: While I was in Moscow, a subway was bombed close to the hotel where I was staying.
Second: The hotel I stayed at was bombed a few days after I departed the hotel.
Third: The local police are not paid on a regular basis and only the Russian Army which frequently patrols the streets of Moscow provide any security for the capital of Russia.
Fourth: A major political figure was killed while I was in Moscow.
These four (4) items are my points regarding why American men and those of other western countries feel there are better places to enjoy their free time.
Joseph, perhaps you will reconsider your essay?
Have a great day and may God bless you,