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Single or married: Which is better?
It's a question that just might be crossing Tie Domi's mind at the moment.
It's always been said that single people want to be married while married folk long to be single again.
But is this true anymore?
With so many singles of all ages (over 7 million men and women in Canada between 20-65), especially in the 40-plus range, (the biggest growing demographic of singles), and the world more accepting of the single status than ever before, is singledom no longer such a reluctant state? After all, being single is being free-as-a-bird, only responsible for yourself without compromises.
You can date whomever you choose when you choose. Your sexual life is in your control. It can be sex, sex, sex, with a variety of people or none at all if you choose, for as long as you want.
You can indulge and pamper yourself. No one checks their watch or yells at you when you get home late, you can eat whenever you choose, go to bed when you want, change jobs whenever you please, travel at a moment's notice and be totally responsible for your own finances and financial planning.
In other words, it's your life and yours alone.
Married folk might respond that, although you have ties and responsibilities when you're married, it means you have someone to share your dreams and goals with; someone is always there to support you through life's ups and downs, to celebrate your successes and soothe you through your disappointments. Someone to comfort you when you're sick.
Yes, sex is limited to only one person (unless you choose to stray ...) but not only is it safer from disease, you can build the trust and special bond that therapists say can make loving intimacy in marriage the best and most fulfilling sex of all.
A married person never has to be anxious about getting sex as it's always available and never has to waste time dating unsuitable people in order to find a half-decent relationship.
They are never lonely and also have the joy of building a family unit with their children.
What's more, statistics show married folk live longer and healthier.
But are either scenarios true in reality?
Single people can suffer from interminable loneliness with no-one to come home to and no-one for support. When they're ill, they are often very alone.
They can find that, rather than endless sex, they can face sexual starvation or bad sex with the wrong people when needy. The dating scene can be miserable and demeaning rather than exciting.
Financial goals are tougher as there's only one income, and their standard of living might be lower. There's still rampant discrimination against singles in a world seemingly geared to couples.
But married people can find that marriage is not the be all and end all of loving togetherness.
They may find they've made a bad choice of partner -- one who isn't supportive and who doesn't share the same goals and dreams. Maybe someone they eventually find they can't stand being around.
Sex may not be always willingly available but only given at the whim of their partner which can be frustrating. They can feel overwhelmed with family and financial responsibilities and feel their life is never their own. Or they can find their partner is a workaholic and their family leads such separate lives, they rarely see them or enjoy their company.
And should either of the partners have an affair leading to a breakup, it can be extremely painful and destructive both emotionally and financially.
Ah. The eternal debate of the pros and cons of single or married life.
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