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As a signle person, whether you are just starting out in life or close to retirement, finding a partner is probably on your to-do list. In a city of more than 120,000, this should not be a difficult task, but as any searching single will tell you, finding the love of their life is not easy.
"Finding companionship in the opposite sex is not easy. I was single 23 years before I met Jim," says Kim Garry, 49 and newly engaged. "We live in a very family and couple orientated city."
So where are people meeting people and finding love in Sioux Falls? Four Sioux Falls couples share their stories.
The set up
"I know someone you should meet," might send you into hiding, but for Kerri and Dr. Jeremy Tietgen, this phrase introduced them a little more than a year ago.
"Our friend CariJo Skonhovd attended a chiropractor dinner and ended up sitting next to Jeremy. She liked his personality and invited him to go out with us after the dinner," said Kerri, 30, leadership coach with Harbor Consulting Group. "I knew her so I knew he had to be OK. Otherwise I would have been more leery of him."
Skonhovd arranged for the couple to meet as part of a group of friends.
"Jeremy seemed like a really nice fun guy that wanted to meet new people, so I invited him along with a group of us to go out," said CariJo Skonhovd. "Earlier in the evening, Kerri sent me a text message me asking if there were any hot doctors there. I mentioned this to Jeremy and he said, "well, I am," I asked if he was single and invited him along."
When Tietgen met Jeremy, she was impressed but still let him make the first move.
"We met on a Thursday and he called me on a Tuesday. The first time he called I let it go to voicemail. He called me again that day and I invited him out with a group of friends after a Chamber Mixer. We talked for hours," Tietgen said.
The couple married this April.
Tip: Expand Your Group of Friends
"There are a lot of people to meet in Sioux Falls; the challenge is meeting people that you have a lot in common with. Expanding your friendship group is important because your friends know what you want. It worked for us," Tietgen said.
Speed Dating
Two years ago, Jim Brenden left a stack of papers to correct at home and headed to Sioux Falls for a FastDater speed-dating party. He was looking to make some friends and ended up finding the love of his life in Kim Garry.
"I had been single for 15 years and was too busy as a teacher and coach at Centerville High School that I did not have time to meet someone. I thought this was a good idea because I got to meet 25 women in one evening," said Jim Brenden, 50.
Speed dating is set up so that every three minutes you meet a different person. If you are interested in getting to know them better, you simply mark yes next to their name. If both parties want to get to know each other, then either your e-mail address or phone number is shared.
When he sat across the table from Kim Garry, 49, she marked yes next to his name because of his eyes.
"I liked his eyes and the fact that he was so relaxed, we had great eye contact which is something I value," Garry said.
More than appearances, the couple soon found out they shared a lot of the same interests.
"We are interested in golf, like tennis, concerts, music and dancing," Garry said.
Dating for two years, Brenden proposed Aug. 26th while the couple was golfing. He put the ring in the 9th hole at the Canton Golf Course for Garry to find. They are planning a tropical wedding.
"I feel very fortunate to have someone in my life because I did not know if I would get that opportunity five years ago," said Garry, a breast cancer survivor.
Tip: Step outside your comfort zone
"If you want to meet someone, you have to go out and get involved in and try different things," Garry said.
Online Dating
After hearing horror stories in the news about on-line dating, Sue and John Mogen were hesitant to try eHarmony.
"I had a very negative opinion of internet romance; and was skeptical of the internet in general," said Sue Mogen, 52, administrative assistant for Associated Consulting Engineering. "My first husband died when I was 43. A few years later, a good friend of mine cornered me and said I was too young to be by myself and there was no one around here good enough for me. I lived in a small town in Nebraska."
Her friend gave her information about eHarmony, an online dating service.
"I was not going to do it, but my curiosity got the best of me," Mogen said.
Because the site had so many safeguards in place and looked like the site focused on single people looking for marriage, Sue signed on.
About the same time she signed up, so did John, a music teacher almost three hours away.
"I am not a bar guy. Because eHarmony is Christian-based I thought this was a good place to find someone that had the same values and morals as I did," said John Mogen, 57, a vocal music teacher at Patrick Henry Middle School.
After e-mailing and talking on the phone for almost two months, the couple decided to meet in Sioux Falls February 2004.
"I had never been on a blind date in my life, so I was really nervous. He took me to Minerva's and then for a walk in Falls Park and then we went to the Firehouse Underground and talked until they closed," Sue said.
John proposed the following Thanksgiving. After asking her daughter for permission, he put the question in a capsule in the whip cream that topped Sue's pumpkin pie.
"I am so glad that I got to be married to someone that allows me to be who I am instead of trying to change me," John said. "I really feel like God was in the middle of this."
Tip: Get to know them from the inside out
John and Sue both liked the way eHarmony allowed them to get to know the other person before ever seeing each other.
"Our society is so geared toward appearances. I liked the way that eHarmony allowed me to get to know Sue from the inside out. The fact she is a beautiful person is just a bonus because I know she is beautiful on the inside as well," John said.
We met in a bar
Jo Theodosopoulos knew after her first date with Kosta that he was the man she would marry. Five months later, her prediction came true. Together eight years now, Jo and Kosta Theodosopoulos do not hesitate to share that they met at his family's bar.
"When I was going to college I started working at a bar in Brookings. A few months after I started, the owners' son came back from Colorado. The second he walked into the bar I was interested in him," said Theodosopoulos, 31 a proofreader at VistaComm. "A few weeks later a group of us decided to stay after work for a few drinks. Kosta was so easy to talk to, even though he was older than me, we had a lot in common."
That night Kosta, 37, a manager at Nutty's North, asked Jo on their first date. That was September 18th; they were engaged the beginning of November and married in February.
"He is so real. We think the same way about certain things and hit it off on every single level possible," Theodosopoulos said. "I knew after our first date that I was going to marry him."
Tip: Don't be afraid of meeting someone at the bar
"The bar is the main social outlet around here, so if for no other reason; go for the sheer volume of people you can meet," Theodosopoulos said. "It is a good place to really get to know people because they are having fun, relaxed and do not have their guard up."
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