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Online dating is fast and fairly painless and so if you have been dating for a while or getting back into it, or just starting out then you should try online dating. But those that are new to dating online often make a number of mistakes. Below are a few of the most common mistakes made by newcomers.
1. Failing to Initiate Contact
Failure to make the first contact is one of the biggest mistakes. Women only initiate about 10% of what men write. So if your a man and don't start writing then the competition will get the woman first. Likewise if women want more control over who they meet then they should make the first contact. If you see what you want then send the first email or you will be stuck with interacting only with those who contact you first. Why give up on all that freedom of choice.
2. Lying in the Profile
The biggest complaint by online daters is people that make false claims in their profiles. You know, a little exaggeration here and there. A bit younger, a bit taller, a few pounds lighter. This will hurt you because you will always be discovered as dishonest. Sooner or later you will meet in person and your partner will feel deceived. Now that's a great start to a relationship! Don't lie in profiles, it just never works.
3. Posting Old or Fake Photos
You must post a real photo of yourself as you are today. Posting photos of you when you were 10 years younger, 20 pounds lighter or had a full head of hair may make you look more appealing but what happens when you meet your date! No matter how you look at it, online dating is about eventually meeting that person for a date. So all of your little tricks and deceits cannot be hidden forever. The best way by far is to be honest up front. Your chances of success will be much higher this way.
4. Talking About Sex
Unless you are on a site that is specifically sexually oriented then keep your emails free of sex talk. If you talk about sex topics too quickly then your prospect may think that sex is your primary objective. Give it some time and start slow. When the relationship approaches an appropriate level you can gradually begin to discuss sexual topics.
5. Mentioning Past Relationships
Remember that the first email contact you make will tend to amplify what you say. So keep your past out of it as much as possible at least in the beginning. Now if your prospect asks about your past, don't give all of it out in one go especially if your past is full of relationships gone bad.
6. Insisting on Meeting Too Quickly
You can find out a lot about your prospects before you meet them. This is one of the best things about online dating. Think of it as a screening process. Read profiles, initiate contacts, exchange emails. This can go for weeks and then you should have one or two telephone conversations before meeting in person. If your prospect gets through these steps then the chances of a successful meeting is much higher. Importantly, you don't have to worry about your personal safety as much if you know more about someone before you meet them in person.
7. Sending the Wrong Emails
Getting mixed up with email exchanges is very easy unless you keep good records. You are sending and receiving many emails simultaneously as part of your screening process. With so many contacts going back and forth its easy to get confused. Imagine sending a reply to Jane21 when you meant to send it to Jane22.
8. Not Asking Important Questions.
If you only ask the easy questions in your email exchanges then you will end up meeting a lot of people who you know nothing about and you would never consider in the first place had you screened them correctly to start with. Remember that the great advantage of internet dating is that you can find out information about your prospect before meeting them. If you waste this advantage then you are practically on a blind date.
9. Never Being Satisfied
With online dating you will be exposed to a never ending supply of people looking for a date. Too many people have trouble spending enough time with one prospect to find out if they they are a suitable match. The lure of unlimited prospects causes them to skip from on to the other and never meeting anyone. Slow down, take your time, you will be rewarded.
Internet dating is a great tool. But like any tool if you don't use it correctly, it will not help you achieve your objective.
By Tony Brian
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