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Singles looking to build new friendships, experience new things and even travel abroad should look no further than the Tri-Cities, writes Lara Gerrits
Maurina Thomas giggles like a high school girl when she relays her latest tale of romance. But much has changed since the 50-year-old Port Moody woman began dating decades ago.
Instead of eyeing someone in the halls of school, she looked for profiles that intrigued her on Yahoo Personals. Instead of shooting a smile across the classroom, she sent a virtual "wink" online.
And after the initial contact, a two-and-half hour phone call mimicked that of many young loves and a lunch date a couple of days later cemented their chemistry.
"We just laughed our heads off," she says of her boyfriend, Brian.
The pair realized they had things in common: ironically, they played together on a corporate baseball team 25 years ago and, today, they work just a block away from one another in downtown Vancouver. They also share a sense of humour and a zest for life.
They might sound like basic commonalities but, as Maurina puts it, "It's hard to meet people, you know?"
Although glamorized by the likes of the fictional Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, the reality of single life might not be as sexy as portrayed on the late night re-runs of the hit television show.
For starters, most people aren't blessed with blonde-bombshell looks and near perfect bodies, let alone a job that essentially pays them to date.
Then come more realities, a time when it's becoming more unusual to meet a couple on its first marriage, a time when people spend more time at the office than they did a decade ago.
It begs the question: With work and kids and soccer practices and doctor appointments, how and when do people find the time to connect with one another?
It's hard and that's why internet dating sites such as lavalife.com and plentyoffish.com are so popular with singles of all ages, Thomas says. The sites allow people to post pictures and short bios of themselves in the hopes of intriguing another peruser of the site into conversation.
It's what made sense to Thomas, who logged on after a relationship ended recently after 18 months.
"The internet dating thing is huge - it's almost like a candy store!" she exclaims, noting she could converse with - even date - several men at once. That all changed when she met Brian several months ago, however.
But the months leading up to Thomas' perfect match weren't filled with the happiness she experiences now thanks to a healthy relationship. When a long-term relationship ends, there's a grieving process, she says, but eventually people need to meet people.
On the low-tech side, that's where the 40+ Tri-Cities Singles Social Club comes into play.
Although not a dating club, membership is a great way to meet new people, make new friends and experience new things (and some romances have developed since its inception in 2002).
"I was looking for some social activities again because, when you're with someone, you tend to spend all of your time with them," she says. "I will never do that again."
It's why even after Thomas met her current beau, she insisted on continuing her participation in the club, which has become a family to her.
"These people are very important to me," she said. "They're a life line."
FOOD & FRIENDSHIP
Recently, as a handful of members basked in the glow of the early evening's setting sun at Rocky Point Park while eating fish and chips, the club's lure was visible.
Although the picnic table full of women (and one man: Brian) didn't want to share exactly what they were talking about during a recent pizza party at a fellow member's home, the eruption of laughter spoke for itself.
"What goes on at Dale's house stays at Dale's house," one woman says, chuckling with the mere of idea of comparing the Coquitlam home to Las Vegas.
What they can tell, however, are the common components of most of their events: food and socializing.
Although the 85-member group is comprised of mostly women, a few of the older gals coyly ask a reporter if she has a single dad - or grandfather - who might be interested in joining.
"We take care of our men," one says, noting that anything to do with food usually draws the opposite sex off the couch.
Rose Loverock, who dubs herself "40 plus," didn't join the group to meet men but, rather, to meet anybody after she moved to Coquitlam from Burnaby four years ago. She knew nobody locally and was looking for a casual, safe way to meet other like-minded people. Shortly after joining, she couldn't even go shopping without bumping into a friendly face she knew; it was a wonderful feeling.
The ladies carry on conversation about anything and everything - jobs, cats, kids, grandkids, trips - as they continue eating. Minutes later, most of them set out on a walk along the Inlet Trail while a few head home for the night. Other regular activities might include walking, dancing and bicycling.
"We're more fun than watching TV," Loverock says.
TRAVEL & COMPANIONSHIp
Flip through the pages of any glossy travel magazine featuring colourful images of sun and sand, and amidst the fine print you'll see the words "based on double occupancy."
Without it, cruise, package-tour and resort operators will often charge up to double an accommodation's double occupancy rate to the single customer.
Single travellers dread these words, says PoCo travel agent Val Liddle, who, after years of explaining to clients the reasoning for single supplements, decided to do something about it.
The result?
The Singles Travel Club - a group of hundreds of people from the Tri-City area who want to see the world but don't necessarily want to be hitched to do so. Members of the two-year-old club pair up to share accommodation during pre-planned vacation get-a-ways, such as October's two-week escape to China or December's three-day Christmas lights tour to Leavenworth, Wash.
"We were having people come into the travel agency saying they wanted to go somewhere and when I told them how much it was, they were horrified," Liddle says during a phone interview from her Arriva Classic Travel office. Single supplements can vary anywhere from an additional $100 to $1,000, she says.
About 30 to 40 people attend the club's meetings, held the third Wednesday of each month at the Coquitlam Legion, and the majority are older than 55, although there are no age limitations on trips. Some attend to plan upcoming trips and, perhaps, meet prospective roommates while others attend purely for the social aspect of the meeting, which includes a dinner and travel presentation. About six weeks before a planned trip, members get together to meet others signed up for the trip and choose a partner. For those who don't choose, matches will be made based on gender and interests, although Liddle stresses roommates have no obligation to spend time together.
"In every group, you always find some that want to shop 'til they drop, you've got those that want to lie on the beach, you've got those that want to hit every museum in town and you've got those that want to sightsee," she says.
But where the real relationships are made is on the trips themselves. And although the club is not intended as a matchmaking service, friendships are inevitable and romantic encounters occasionally happen.
There's a $25 annual fee to join the club and a $12 monthly meeting fee, which covers the cost of dinner, dessert, etc.
getting CONNECTED
Other places to meet people or find single support:
For more information on joining the Tri-Cities Singles Social Club, email tcssc@telus.net. Meetings are held the third Friday of each month at the Port Moody Legion.
For information on the Singles Travel Club, call Val at 604-552-1552 or visit www.singlestravelclub.ca.
Parents Without Partners is an international non-profit organization devoted to the interest and welfare of single parents and their children. Information meetings for new members run the second Thursday of each month, 7:30 p.m., in the Howe Room, Coquitlam rec centre, 630 Poirier St. Info: 604-945-2407.
Glenayre Scottish country dancers meet Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m., in the Centennial Room beside Chimo Pool, Coquitlam. New members welcome, all levels beginner to advanced, singles and couples.
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