I’ve recently become single after being in a five-year relationship and getting back into the dating game is, well, not so simple. Many of my friends have suggested I go online to meet someone. I’m not too keen on this idea, simply because I prefer the old-fashioned, three-dimensional kind of meeting.
I will say I have scanned some of the online profiles on a sundry of women-seeking-women websites.
From my personal analysis, I’d have to say lesbian profiles seem to fall into a few predictable categories: must be cat/dog/animal lovers; love long walks on the beach (c’mon ladies, surely we can do better than that); vegetarians/vegan/yoga die-hards; wine and fine dining connoisseurs; work out/outdoor fanatics; and a woman to be her knightess in shining armor, who will bestow on her unlimited affection and likes to take bubble baths sprinkled with rose petals.
||If you know anyone who happens to bear a resemblance to Jennifer Connelly, please keep me in mind.
Where are the women who like to sit in smoky bars and drink Pabst Blue Ribbon while talking about Paris Hilton’s latest silly escapade? I mean, I also love to talk politics and human nature, should you think I’m a completely shallow person, but there’s just something about Paris.
My profile, should I ever make one to post on one of these WSW sites, might read something like: I live in blue jeans, sometimes sleep in my cowboy boots, enjoy drinking PBR in smoky bars (yes, I do smoke for all you lesbians who make that a mandatory no-no on your wish lists) and I’ll stay up until 2 a.m. on a school night to catch a “Hellraiser” movie just because I think Pinhead is one cool character. And I love parades, no matter how big or small, because nobody doesn’t smile at a parade.
My workouts tend to be walking up the steep stairs to my apartment, rolling around with my cats (well, I am a lesbian), and walking to the nearby aforementioned smoky bar in Little Five Points.
I eat meat, but try to get some greens in my stomach a few times a week because I am aware broccoli and such are healthy. I’ll drink a glass of wine when offered, but have no idea which country/region produces the best grapes and — gasp — have even sipped wine poured from a box.
Sure, I love walking on the beach — who doesn’t? But I also love walking through rural grocery stores with creaky wooden floors where I can buy a Coke in an eight-ounce bottle.
But do these few sentences actually reveal the real me, the real us?
After a few years out of the dating scene, it is interesting to see that the lesbians out there are still desperately seeking long-term relationships and our U-Haul reputation remains firmly intact. (“No Drama. Looking for LTR only. Must have well-paying job.”)
But there are also many out there simply looking for “activity partners” — i.e., a simple hookup — so lesbians can be just as interested in sexual release with a stranger as gay men who have specific websites for this purpose only. Lesbians, however, are forced to scan “dating sites” to look for that one-night, or one-hour, get together. Sorry, I don’t count Craigslist as a dating site.
There’s no denying online dating has revolutionized the world of meeting potential mates. There are dating (heterosexual) website commercials on network TV hawking their wares with testimonials from couples now living in wedded bliss.
Lesbians too shy to attend a gay bar alone can find an interesting person online and become friends via e-mail, exchanging pictures and then the eventual personal meetup.
But the slew of profiles out there on the World Wide Web — it’s enough to leave a single personal paralyzed, staring at computer screen with a deer-in-the-headlights stare. How do I select which profile to choose? Her picture is cute, but her supposed witty “headline” is silly — I mean really, what’s with this “SexyMama4U” crap?
Another woman sounds interesting with her intro — she also likes horror movies and Joan Jett, but I just can’t force myself to exchange e-mails with a woman with a mullet.
As a young(er) dyke, and before the onslaught of online dating, I had a small pond to choose from in the small city I lived in and, to tell you the truth, that was just fine by me.
There are really only a few things I look for in a woman: she’s got to be smart, funny, interested in the world around her, curious, kind and generous.