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The bizarre relationship between a 30-year-old American mother and a 16-year-old Australian schoolboy has thrust the spotlight on internet romances. ELISSA DOHERTY reports on this popular phenomenon.
IT'S an underground society of singles – a world of electronic kisses, secret codes and special etiquette to shield members from cold-hearted rejection.
Thousands of Australians each day are choosing to put their heart online through internet dating, rather than risk their pride at a smoky bar or nightclub.
It's a phenomenon that is changing the face of dating, with more and more people finding love at a keystroke, being wooed with romantic e-cards and sent bunches of electronic flowers.
Initially viewed with caution and scepticism, the stigma of internet dating on dedicated sites or in chat rooms is slowly slipping away.
Singles are increasingly turning to their terminal to meet someone in a relatively safe, anonymous environment – and minus the butt-pinching, lecherous leers or booze breath.
Revelations that a 30-year-old Californian mum has shifted halfway across the world and shacked up with her 16-year-old Perth internet lover have put the internet dating craze well and truly in the spotlight.
In her self-designed web page on MySpace, Karen Anderson "seduced" James Barry with photos of herself lying provocatively on her bed in white underwear.
Ms Anderson also flaunted herself via a webcam to hook James.
Such is the fascination – and ease – of hooking up with someone on the internet that sites such as RSVP.com.au have experienced a huge rise in interest. Over the past five years, RSVP.com.au – one of Australia's biggest internet dating sites – has seen membership soar from 100,000 in 2001 to 855,000 today. And almost 10 per cent of members are from Adelaide.
While it doesn't always guarantee a happy ending, RSVP says that, of its known successful pairings, 943 have married and 157 have had babies.
RSVP marketing manager Lija Jarvis said people from all walks of life were recognising the benefits of internet dating and it was becoming a more acceptable way to meet.
"The perception that it's only for people who can't meet someone any other way is changing," she said. "It's almost like a return to the traditional romance even though it's online.
"People are sitting down and getting to know each other, and it's almost like they are writing love letters again."
Ms Jarvis said there were a number of safeguards to try to protect members but, ultimately, people should treat it the same as meeting a stranger in a traditional way.
Regular users expected common courtesy such as acknowledgement of approaches and a polite response if they weren't interested.
The 30-49 age group were the biggest users but members ranged from 18 to over 80.
But it's not all innocent soulmate searching, with some sites having a seedier side.
Not only can you search for a relationship or friendship, but you can hook up with a stranger who is blatantly advertising for a casual interlude.
As well, the flipside of the online craze is growing numbers of people using the net to stray from their partners.
Adelaide-based relationship counselling and introduction agency Degree Relationships said a number of clients became disillusioned with the net when finding people already in relationships who were looking for an affair.
"We do hear the horror stories; of course there are success stories, too," director Brett Woodhouse said. "But it's the unknown."
Centacare's executive manager of family relationship services, Elizabeth O'Connor, said nothing could replace face-to-face communication.
"More than anything else, when you're meeting in person you can tell a lot from someone's tone of voice, body language, non-verbal signals which you can't get on the internet," she said.
"To me, meeting for the first time is not on the internet but actually in person."
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