Rabbi's Shabbat dinners serve as place for Jewish singles to mingle, connect

David Schimmel is sick of the bar scene.
You can't carry a conversation in a packed nightclub and those "singles events" are just awkward sometimes, said Schimmel, 36.
"Let's face it, most of us are looking for somebody to get married to," he said. "I just don't enjoy the bar scene. It's not as conducive to me for having genuine conversation."
That's exactly why you might find Schimmel among 25 other local and mostly single Jews noshing and schmoozing Friday nights on Marion Street with Rabbi Mayshe Schwartz.
"I'm looking to meet a Jewish girl - not that they wouldn't be at a bar," he explains. "But this is obviously a little more spiritual ... this is more natural."Schwartz, who holds free Shabbat dinners for different age groups at his second-floor walkup, doesn't deny some matchmaking may take place, but calls it an unintended consequence.
"We're not a dating service," said Schwartz, whose home is also the heart of the Chabad Chai Center. "But we want to perpetuate the three endangered species of the world: whales, seals and Jews."
Schwartz, who said he met his wife, Shifra, at a friend's Shabbat table, said he often receives subtle inquiries after his dinners from guests trying to get the lowdown on potential mates.
"I have phone calls and e-mails all the time, 'What was the name of that person at Shabbos? Is he available? Is she available?'" he recalled. "It happens on its own, and I think that's the magic of it."
Something else sets Schwartz apart from other local rabbis - besides inadvertently becoming a dating liaison. At his dinners celebrating the Sabbath, there are no religious services.
"That's shocking to a lot of people," he said, pointing out there is still spiritual discussion.
In tune with the Chabad sect of Judaism that focuses more on all-inclusive religious study than worship inside a synagogue, Schwartz said he also introduced another rarity to Brookline: zero membership fees and free High Holiday services.
"It wasn't to undercut the market," he explained. "It was clearly to attract these people who feel, 'Why should I pay to pray?'"
Schwartz said he will ring in the Jewish new year, Rosh Hashana, this Friday night at the Longwood Club with a twist - he will host more than 200 singles in what he bills as "the only party geared primarily toward singles being hosted by a temple or [Jewish] organization in all of Brookline."
Schwartz plans a similar outreach for the Yom Kippur holiday, Sunday, Oct. 1, to move services from the traditional setup to a format he calls more "digestible."
"Most people have these preconceived notions of what goes on in a synagogue or a temple, and the idea to them is scary," he said. "There's a certain commitment, an unwavering commitment to God and to religion, and that's very heavy ... you have to get there 'yiddle by yiddle.'"
Although the meet market aspect of Schwartz's events is no secret, it comes with some history. The Los Angeles native said he and his father, also a rabbi, helped jumpstart jdate.com, a popular Jewish dating Web site, in 1997"The idea came from two entrepreneur Israeli guys [who] would come to [my father's Friday night] parties," he said. "We handed them, for free, the names of 5,000 [Jewish] singles."
Schimmel, originally from Newton, said he has gone out with women he met at Schwartz's dinners but clarified he isn't there just to score phone numbers.
"It's not a singles thing," he said, but adds the casual setting does help. "This is much more homey, so it's a different feel. There's less pressure."
Another regular of Schwartz's dinners, Paul Resnek, 30, said meeting women isn't his main agenda, but welcomes the idea.
"It's not like you're going on speed dating for Jews," said Resnek, a certified public accountant who lives on Beacon Street. "But it's on anyone's mind if you're at an event where there are girls."
More important to Resnek, he said, is the social atmosphere and the chance to enjoy the Shabbat rituals under Schwartz's leadership.
"I'm not particularly religious, but I respect people who are," Resnek said. "You feel so welcome there though. It's like showing up is doing him a favor."
Jessica Scarpati can be reached at jscarpat@cnc.com.