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More People Turning To Internet To Find Relationships

Date: 2006-09-21

As people become increasingly pressed for time, studies show that they are turning in greater numbers to the Internet to find love.

A March Pew Research study on online dating found that one in 10 Internet users said they've personally visited a dating Web site. That amounts to about 16 million people.

Of those who have used the sites, 43 percent have gone on dates with people they met there and 17 percent, or nearly 3 million adults, have entered long-term relationships or married their online dating partners.

So when it comes to online dating, just how easy is it to find a life partner?

Experts said it's important to come into it with the right expectations. They recommended increasing chances of success by being realistic, honest and having common sense.

Natalie Woodley and Rob Glejf reminisced about their first date just two years after they shared drinks at Pedro's.

"When you're little, you always wonder, 'Where is that guy for me?' And boom, he's on the Internet. That's kind of weird," said Woodley.

She visited match.com, and with just a few e-mails and clicks, she said she found her dream guy.

"We just talked online from February through August, and we never met in person until Aug. 26 of 2004, and we've been together pretty much ever since," Woodley said.

Will Workman, a University of Wisconsin-Madison graduate student, said he has heard many stories like this. He is researching online dating.

"You can stroll out onto the terrace at any time if you're single and see lots of very attractive, possibly intelligent, people walking around. You don't know whether they're single, what their interests are. You don't know anything, and for a lot of people it's difficult to approach them," Workman said.

Workman has talked to hundreds of online daters and is even teaching a class on how to do it successfully.

"We're all busy. We don't have the kind of opportunities we did in the past where we had strong networks of friends and families. We tend to move around a lot, so I think this is a valid choice for meeting people and it does work," he said.

And he said it can actually work for the long-term or marriage kind of relationships.

"These are people who register on wedding.com, which biases the findings a little bit. But last year, an estimated 12 percent of all marriages were as a result of having met online," Workman said.

Woodley and Glejf are planning their wedding for October of 2007.

Workman offered some tips for online daters. First, he recommended choosing the right site.

The most popular site, match.com, or Yahoo Personals are both general-interest sites where most people can sign up.

For more serious relationships, Eharmony.com offers an extensive personality questionnaire that matches users with potential dates. There are many other sites that cater to individual interests -- anything from just Jewish daters to vegan matchmaker Web sites to one Web site catering to only Ivy League graduates.

Honesty is also a key to finding success in online dating. Workman advised people not to lie, exaggerate or use clichés. He said one of the most common clichés for women can be "sassy" or for guys, that they "Like to have a good time."

For those who find someone in whom they are interested, Workman recommended keeping the first e-mail contact light and not being too serious. Also, he advised taking things slowly at first but not waiting too long to meet in person.

He said it's not ideal for the entire relationship to be based on only online communication.

Those interested in online dating can sign up for the UW Union's mini-course that Workman is teaching starting Sept. 27.





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