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In the Indian culture, giving away a daughter in marriage is a highly emotional moment for the parents. Although, the matter has been trivialised by Bollywoood masala films, in real life it remains quite heart-rending. More so if the daughter is being packed off to a distant land.
Many a bride’s father will put up a brave face and tell you how happy he is to get a ‘foreign’ groom for his ‘precious little girl,’ in the heart of his heart he’s trembling at the thought of the unknown perils that lie ahead of her.
Thousands of young Indian men working abroad are highly prized ‘catches’ and they know it. The fact that they were able to beat stiff competition and find a job outside India gives them a bit of a complex to begin with. They set their sights very high when it comes to picking a bride.
Second, being thousands of miles away from the watchful glare of their parents, communities and society, the unattached men are likely to fall prey to temptations of all kinds, particularly if they are in the liberal West.
So, when a typically Indian girl marries and lands in a foreign land, she has several tough challenges to face. Not only does she have to adjust to the company of a spouse who is a complete stranger, but she is also expected to hit the ground running in terms of drastic lifestyle and cultural changes. The sudden change, combined with serious bouts of homesickness, delivers a whopping cultural shock to her psyche.
At this point, if she were to also discover that her groom married her only for the sake of the hefty dowry her father gave and is not really interested in her, one can well imagine her plight.
The number of instances of hardships arising from Non-Indian Resident marriages as well as cases of alleged fraud have reached proportions where the Government and other agencies have been forced into action.
Although precise data is not available, as such cases are reported to different Ministries, institutions and to the State Governments etc.
The problems relating to NRI marriages have engaged the attention of the Ministry of Overseas Indian Affairs since its formation in 2004. The problem was earlier examined by the High Level Committee on Indian Diaspora (HLCID). It had made a few recommendations. These recommendations have been referred to the state governments for necessary action. The National Commission for Women has also examined the problems relating to NRI marriages and has made some recommendations. The recommendations of NCW are being examined by government. A proposal that India join The Hague Conference on Private International Law as a member state is also being processed by government.
The Minister of Overseas Indian Affairs, Vayalar Ravi, told the Indian Parliament recently that his ministry was also taking various measures to create awareness on this issue. The measures include publishing a guidance booklet on marriages to overseas Indians and publicity through print and electronic media.
The Ministry also organized a National Consultation in Delhi in February, 2006. To increase awareness, MOIA in collaboration with the National Commission for Women organised a workshop in Chandigard in June, 2006 to address the problems relating to marriages with overseas Indians. Another workshop is being organised in Kerala this month. Similar workshops are being proposed in other relevant States.
Media reports say that over the past year, the National Commission of Women (NCW), received more than 200 written complaints from women trapped in “troubled marriages” with Indians abroad. Many of them were cheated, tortured, abandoned or forcibly separated from their children. According to NCW chairperson Girija Vyas, verbal and anonymous complaints are three times more than the written ones. Most complaints pour in from Punjab, Haryana, Delhi, Kerala, Rajasthan and Andhra Pradesh — described as “problem states”.
One dangerous trend emerging is that of having “holiday wives” who are becoming victims of the “pleasure-seeking NRI who comes to India, marries the girl in a hurry and then dumps her here never to return.”
Under Vyas, the NCW is calling for a comprehensive legislation to tackle the problems related to NRI marriages. The NCW, which says the problem has assumed endemic proportions, has stepped in with a slew of measures to bring justice to the abandoned brides.
The measures aim to serve judicial documents abroad, recognise divorce and legal separation across countries, ensure maintenance and child custody, impound passports of errant grooms, initiate criminal proceedings against relatives, attach property in India and facilitate residence permits for those women, who want to go abroad to fight their cases.
The NCW says the government needs to get into bilateral arrangements with other countries for policing of troubled marriages with specific provisions for divorce, child custody and maintenance.
According to the NCW, India needs to sign the Hague Convention relating to cross-border marriages, develop an Indian private international law and formulate guidelines for the police on how to deal with such complaints.
Stranded in a foreign country, often without any financial support, they have no one to turn to. The government needs to come to their rescue. The decision of ministry of overseas affairs to appoint volunteers in countries with a high density of NRIs and PIOs to carry out a background check of prospective grooms abroad has remained just on paper.
It is time the scheme was taken up in real earnest. With globalisation the number of NRI-Indian marriages is on the rise. It is seldom possible for brides’ parents in India to verify the credentials of the NRI grooms. Dubious marriage bureaus make things worse.
There is need for some institutional mechanism of getting authentic information before these long-distance marriages are finalised. Indian missions abroad could help out with the task in conjunction with local NGOs, and even come to the rescue of victims of fraudulent NRI marriages.
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