For singles who feel strongly about their religion and values, online dating services help them find potential mates who share their views.
When Teri Stubblefield of Bettendorf and Will Taylor of Galesburg, Ill., walk down the aisle Sept. 10 at Tanglewood Hills Chapel in Bettendorf, they will do so feeling confident that their faith is a foundation for their marriage.
They met on Relationships.com, an online dating service for Christian singles.
Their first date was a Christmas concert.
They agreed - even before they met in person - that sex is reserved for marriage only. So while dating and since their February engagement, they've enjoyed one another's company without that pressure.
When things started getting serious, they found and began attending a church they both enjoy and went through premarital counseling there.
They're among the 63 percent of people subscribing to the two dozen specialized online dating services provided by Spark.net who say that sharing the same religion is very or the most important factor when seeking companionship or a long-term relationship.
"I was smitten from the start," said Taylor, who is a vice president and senior trust officer at a Galesburg, Ill., bank. "Looking back, the first date was a success in part because we had really gotten to know each other before meeting.
"For Teri and me, a personal relationship with Jesus is a must for any consideration for developing a romantic relationship."
Spark.net's Christian singles Web sites are the fastest growing of any it provides, according to Gail Laguna, a spokeswoman. The company also hosts other same-faith dating services, including JDate.com for Jewish singles, CatholicMingle.com, BaptistSingles.com and two sites for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
"We started in 1997 with JDate.com for Jewish singles in the Los Angeles area," Laguna said. "It grew by word of mouth to the New York area. It has been hugely successful and popular. We set up the other online communities based on feedback from our general market site, AmericanSingles.com."
Unmarried people of faith often experience the same challenge as the first subscribers to JDate.com, according to Laguna.
"After you've dated the five single people in your congregation, what more can you do?" Laguna asked.
Stubblefield owns Neighborhood Greetings, which she operates out of her home. She and Will are both divorced and admit they brought some baggage to their relationship.
Both have children. Many of their e-mails purposely explored personal likes and dislikes, faith and values.
"It was very important to us that we share the same faith," Stubblefield said. "It's amazing how much we have in common and that we are completely in agreement on our spiritual viewpoints."
Taylor said both were willing to "open ourselves up to any and all questions."
"We saw each other's warts, and we were able to see the potential of a relationship," he said. "It is not so much what we answered to various questions but how - that is, with humbleness - and a desire to grow in faith."
People who subscribe to same-faith online dating services are more serious, Laguna said.
"According to a recent study by Jupiter Research, they're looking for a long-term relationship," Laguna said. "They stay on the Web longer and are more loyal than persons just looking to hook up."
Those "hooking-up" couples may discount the importance of shared faith, but the issue may be a source of future problems, according to Mike Hartwig of Altoona, director of Marriage Matters of Iowa.
"We know from several studies that faith definitely has a impact on marriage and divorce rates," Hartwig said.
"If I am an evangelical, a King James-type person who believes in the wife cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids, and I marry a woman who believes her place is in the work force, contributing to the family income, then it will greatly impact the marriage."
Equally powerful are instances when one spouse begins to grow in their spirituality while their husband or wife doesn't share the increased interest in church.
"The change in values and lifestyle can break up a couple," Hartwig said. "Same-faith couples take a lot of those issues off the table."
Stubblefield and Taylor's pastor is the Rev. Jim Green, associate pastor of Edgewood Baptist Church in Rock Island, Ill. He sees a benefit to same-faith Internet dating services, especially for people who are "a little older and busy in their occupations," especially people with children who have little time or interest in bars or the social dating scene.
"It's a possible starting point. Any system that makes it possible for people to discover the things they may have in common is useful to some degree," Green said.
"Some Internet dating services pair people up while giving them little information. That could work out, but the more people know about one another, the more they have a point of reference for agreement and a better possibility for compatibility. It's so much better to be going down the same biblical belief path."
The couple have no illusions that merely sharing the same faith assures they will live happily ever after through all the challenges married life brings.
But Stubblefield is convinced that her Internet romance is very close to being a match made in heaven.
The groundwork the couple laid on the Internet and telephone played a large part in how comfortable they are with one another in person, she said.
"I asked Will if he was affectionate because it was something I never had and that I wanted," she said.
"I longed for physical touching and closeness, gifts for no reason, quality time. Will said he never had been, but he thought he could be with the right person. When we're together, we walk everywhere holding hands and he puts his arm around me at church.
"I have never been happier in my whole life. I have no regrets or second thoughts."
Taylor, too, believes he has been blessed.
"(On the first date), I thought she was wonderful. She was so much more beautiful than her pictures and a real joy," Will said.
"I still cannot believe someone as marvelous and classy as Teri wanted a second date, but our love for each other continues to grow. God is good, all the time."
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