The professional approach to a labour of love

WHILE Joe worked in a distant branch office of his company, it didn't bother anyone that he was dating one of the most senior executives in the division.
The trouble started when he transferred into the same building as his girlfriend – and was instantly promoted.
Where workplace romance is concerned, gossip will flourish. Before anyone had sized up Joe's true capabilities, the word got around that this had been a nepotistic promotion. While the couple maintained a cool professional distance at work, it was still felt that Joe enjoyed a certain advantage.
When he was again promoted – and it turned out that no-one else was invited to apply for the job in question – many colleagues turned against him, feeling certain that the job had been allocated thanks to Joe's girlfriend having the boss's ear.
Joe, who doesn't have the hide of a rhino, soon felt the new unspoken hostility from colleagues. He asked if he could transfer back to running a branch office, and a few months later he and his girlfriend got married.
"I like to think I was given the promotions because of ability," says Joe. "My girlfriend is adamant that she did not plead my case, but who's going to believe that? The second promotion was handled badly, as at the time I did not know that I wasn't competing with others for that job, and I can understand how colleagues felt.
"I suppose all this goes with the territory when you're dating someone at work – especially someone senior to you. If there had been company rules discouraging workplace relationships, I don't think it would have made any difference to us, though we might have kept things quiet for a long time. You can't really choose who you fall for."
It's reckoned that 70 per cent of us have had a workplace romance, however brief. It's no surprise that 40 per cent of those relationships become more long-term.
More women work outside the home and in a wider variety of jobs than ever before, and with the average Briton working a 44-hour week, the world of work is the biggest dating agency around – and not just for the unattached, either.
In the United States, some companies ask new employees to sign up to a "love contract" forbidding romance at work, and in this country such policies are now used increasingly.
Yes, there are definite pitfalls attached to workplace relationships – including the early, distracted period when the two parties eye each other across the room continually then "bump into" each other a lot by the water cooler or coffee machine.
Then there's the discomfort of others around them as the hormones rage and other friends are ignored; the bad atmosphere when the couple bring a row into work; and the possible lack of productivity as love/lust eclipses all else.
While an office romance can be distracting and possibly damaging, research has shown that in the right circumstances workers in such relationships can be more productive, with personal happiness promoting morale, creativity and energy. It can also encourage workers to stay longer in the job.
America's Southwest Airlines, the most successful airline in history, according to Fortune magazine, reports that 1,600 of its 27,000 staff are married to each other. The company is proud of this statistic, and uses LUV as its stock market symbol.
In Britain, it seems that businesses are becoming less benevolent. Companies (31 out of 80 firms polled by one survey) are now asking employees to inform them of a relationship with another member of staff. This, it's believed, will help to guard against jealousy, favouritism and fall-out from romances that go wrong.
Just supposing (and I don't) that this is a good idea, when would you tell the boss? Would you make a declaration of intention as soon as you've clocked that the man over in accounts is definitely returning your meaningful glances?
Do you wait until you've walked to the sandwich shop together and found that you both prefer that chilli chicken filling? Is the best moment just after you've finally got it together and you're now busily ignoring each other in the office?
Do you leave it a few weeks after that, to test out whether this is just a fling? By then, one of the unreliable chums you've sworn to secrecy will have blabbed it to the boss and everyone else anyway.
All of this underlines the difficulties (and yes, the stupidity) inherent in trying to police sexual attraction. After all, employers do unwittingly encourage workplace romance.
They recruit individuals with similar values and ambitions, who often end up working long hours together, and usually live within dating distance of each other. Intense team-based projects further encourage emotional bonding, and eventually fan the flames of passion.
Essentially, though (and in most circumstances), if two employees are involved with each other, surely it's a private matter? Staff have a right to privacy unless the relationship affects their ability to do their job or negatively affects others.
You can't be fired for having a relationship at work – but if you do fall for a colleague, it's as well to leave love firmly outside the office door.
sheena.hastings@ypn.co.uk