|
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for three years, and I thought we had a very happy and passionate relationship. We are not young -- in our early 50s and both previously divorced.
My husband and I share our home computer, and recently, I noticed he had left a dating service site open on the monitor. I discovered he has a profile on the site that says he is "single and looking." The picture he included was a shot I had recently taken in front of our home!
Do I confront him about this? Is this some kind of male menopause thing? I don't want to start an argument, but it's eating away at me. I'm too embarrassed to talk to my friends, so please help. -- Hurting in South Carolina
Dear Hurting: By all means, talk to your husband. Happily married men do not advertise their availability on Internet dating sites. Tell him what you found, and ask him to go with you for marriage counseling so you can work on your problems together. If he refuses, go without him. Either he's unhappy or he's a player, and the sooner you find out which, the better.
Dear Annie: It's summer, and I'm sure you're hearing from many women who are afraid to show off their bodies. I have a different reason for wishing to cover up.
Not long ago, I was terribly depressed and ended up cutting myself as a way to escape the pain. I am doing much better now and have no desire to resume my activities, but I am left with unsightly scars. I cut my upper legs because I thought no one would notice, but now I want to wear a swimsuit. The scars go all the way down to my knees, and some are quite deep.
I can't put off my friends and family much longer when they ask me to go to the beach. What can I do to hide these marks? -- Embarrassed
Dear Embarrassed: You can wear a long wrap that will cover your legs, or try camouflaging with makeup such as Dermablend, specifically manufactured to conceal scars and skin discoloration. Ask at your better department stores, or Google "scar makeup" and you will find an entire list. Good luck.
Dear Annie: This is for "Struggling in Wisconsin," whose 19-year-old daughter is bipolar. I am 31 years old, have been married for 11 years and have two beautiful, loving and smart children. I also have bipolar disorder.
Please let this mother know it's not the end of the world. I have been coping with this since I was a teenager. It took a long time to get a correct diagnosis, but once it was given and my medication was updated, no one would ever know. My son was diagnosed as bipolar last year.
Family is very important, and I believe they need to be aware of the bipolar disorder. My 86-year-old grandmother may not completely understand it, but she loves me and my son just the way we are. My mother, father, sister, grandmother and in-laws all know and could not be more supportive, and for that, I am thankful every day.
I, too, thought people would think I was some sort of freak, but now I know I am doing the best I can with what God gave me. And most important is my family, who, from time to time, must remind me to do things, or help me do them because they see it can be too much for me.
I want to tell "Struggling" that there are others behind you. Give your family a chance. You might be surprised. I certainly was. --?Coping in Virginia
Dear Coping: You sound like a wonderful gal and are fortunate to have such a supportive and loving family. Anyone who would like more information on bipolar disorder can contact the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (dbsalliance.org) at 1-800-826-3632.
| 
