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TUSCALOOSA, Ala. - It's a Monday night, and Nathan and Melissa Bridges sit down to a dinner of taco salad and conversation.
Nathan, a Bibb County parole officer, talks about his efforts to transfer to the Tuscaloosa office to be closer to home. Melissa, a graduate student at the University of Alabama, mentions her upcoming 27th birthday.
But after dinner is over, the conversation shifts. Out comes what has become known in the household as "The Box."
Inside is a neat stack of papers: birth certificates, medical reports, powers-of-attorney, passport photos, financial statements, a marriage certificate.
It's their life in notarized ink. For the couple, the box also represents another life altogether, that of the Russian child whom they hope to adopt.
Nathan and Melissa met in college. She was a sophomore at UA; he was a senior. Both attended Central Church of Christ. On their first date, they went to dinner at O'Charley's and saw the movie "Titanic." One day short of their one-year anniversary, they were married in her hometown of Scottsboro.
The couple knew from the beginning they wanted children. The question was how many. Melissa has three younger siblings, and Nathan, 29, has an older sister.
Both earned degrees in child development from UA, and Melissa works at the University of Alabama's Child Development Resource Center. Much of their careers have involved working with children.
They started trying early on, but after seven-and-a-half years, Melissa still wasn't pregnant. After a round of tests and several minor surgeries, she went on a cycle of medications. But still nothing happened.
It was around that time the word "adoption" became more than a passing comment, Melissa said.
"It sounds cliched, but we always had it in the back of our mind, to give a child a chance who might not have a chance otherwise," she said. "It's not important for me to be pregnant as much as it is for me to be a parent."
The couple began looking on the Internet, but quickly became discouraged by the cost and mountains of paperwork. A typical adoption can range anywhere from $15,000 to $35,000 for international adoptions, as the Bridges were considering.
Then, Nathan's sister mentioned that a family member of a fellow churchgoer was involved in a non-profit foundation that gave financial assistance to qualifying couples wanting to adopt internationally.
The couple decided to pursue adoption overseas because of possible problems regarding termination of parental rights if they adopted in the U.S.
After that, things moved quickly. The couple were connected with Children's Hope International, a not-for-profit adoption and humanitarian agency based in St. Louis, Mo., that specializes in international adoptions.
Three days before Easter, the adoption agency sent word that the preliminary application had been accepted. The couple wrote a note in a greeting card to their parents, announcing their decision to adopt.
"We may or may not ever be able to make an announcement that 'We're pregnant'... but we have come to understand that the blessing is the fact that however parenthood happens, it is a miracle!" the note read.
"We will need your prayers as well as your shoulders and hands as we begin this journey... And perhaps in a bit longer than the 'normal' nine months, you will be able to help us welcome a child into the world that is ours."
Nathan's mother, Barbara Bridges, said she started to cry when she read the note.
"I know how much they both want kids. There are certain people who, when children are around, they flock to that person, and Nathan has always been that way. And Melissa comes from a big family, too," Barbara said.
"They are the perfect match."
If the adoption process is a journey, the road is paved with paperwork - and patience.
Because Nathan and Melissa were adopting a child from abroad, they needed passports as well as approval for the child's visa from the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services.
They contacted a licensed social worker for the first of a series of visits to their house, known as a home study.
Since the social worker recommends parents for adoption, she wanted to know everything about the couple: how they met, how they resolved conflict, their discipline style, parenting techniques that their own parents used with them growing up.
They also had to show that they were financially able to support a child and that they lived in an environment that the Russian government would deem appropriate. Everything from the square footage of their house to the character of their neighborhood was assessed.
Blood tests were ordered to show that neither of them have communicable diseases. Background checks proved neither had a criminal record.
"They're going to know us down to the size of our underwear. That's the running joke in the adoption community," Melissa said, laughing.
With the arrival in the mail of every document, the couple feel a step closer to the day they'll bring their child home, not unlike the feeling birth parents get when they feel the baby kick inside the womb or see its grainy image on an ultrasound.
How old their child will be at the time of adoption is a question they get often. And while their work with children has taught them that the younger the child, the better, the reality is that he or she likely will be at least a year old and possibly older.
A preference for a boy or girl can stretch out the wait even longer, particularly if the request is for a girl. Boys are often viewed as a liability in Russia.
Only about 7 percent of children in Russian orphanages are eligible for adoption, since many birth parents are not willing to terminate their parental rights, according to Children's Hope International's adoption guide for Russian children.
Once the child is legally adoptable, his or her name is entered into a federal database for six months to allow Russian citizens first crack at adoption, said Natalia Sirotyuk, Russia program specialist with CHI.
"If there's no family interested in adopting during this time frame, then the child becomes eligible for international adoption," Sirotyuk said.
It's up to the Russian government to select a child for the couple, based on the preferences they've listed in their application. Then they'll receive an invitation to Russia to meet the child, but it will be another three months before they can return to take the child home.
"The hardest part for me is going to be waiting after we come back from Russia the first time," Nathan said.
For now, there's still much work to be done. With their home study completed, the couple have almost everything they need to complete what is known as a dossier, a collection of documents that they will hand-deliver to the Secretary of State's office in Montgomery for approval.
Once the adoption agency reviews the dossier and adds its own paperwork, it will all be sent to Russia, where it will undergo another set of reviews by agencies there.
But there's more to be done than filling out forms. The couple's families recently joined together to host a yard sale in North Alabama to help offset their mounting adoption fees. They're also putting together a cookbook of recipes, submitted by family and friends, that will go toward the adoption fund.
And Melissa admitted that she is looking forward to the "mommy stuff," like decorating a nursery and picking out the perfect car seat. Some friends are talking about plans for a baby shower.
"We're going to be parents," she said. "It's not just a chance anymore. It's a guarantee."
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