I am sure that everyone thought about how a marriage proposal would happen in his or her life, didn’t you? Certainly, your imagination draws beautiful scenes from favorite movies. Well, I can say that men are in a privileged position here: they can fulfill their dreams into reality! Women just have to wait and hope that at least it will be romantic! :)) By the way, in a recent survey, over 80% of women (and men) who were proposed to said that the marriage proposal was "less romantic" than they had hoped for.
A marriage proposal is one of those rare moments in life the story of which can become a family legend. And it is you who can make this legend valued by several generations! You just should not hurry but think thoroughly over it. Let’s start right now.
When to make a proposal?
The peculiarity of international dating narrows the choice greatly:
- at personal meeting
- in correspondence
- by telephone
- through an intermediary or a courier
Let’s consider these alternatives.
The majority of couples meet just once before getting married. It becomes possible if the trip was preceded by emotional and meaningful correspondence, if you got the feeling that the One has been found. Such correspondence lasts for 4-6 months. And the people that have fallen in love by correspondence have only one danger: not to justify each other’s hopes at personal meeting.
Sometimes it happens that no chemistry appears between two people, sometimes that one of the people cunningly concealed his real age or some problems, for example with health. If everything goes right and the first impression is good, it is still not a good ground to fall on your knee right there at the airport! :)
Spend as much time as possible with your fiancée, visit her family and communicate with her friends. It will give you much more information than long-months correspondence. Put off “the ceremony” of proposal till the end of your meeting.
There are so many ways to make a proposal. For example, one of our clients hired musicians, agreed with the manager of a local restaurant and after the romantic dinner with soft music he declared his love and gave a ring to his lady. Sure, some will exclaim how banal it is! But ask any girl if she would mind it?
Yeah, let’s ask indeed! Here are some of the replies to the question “What kind of marriage proposal did you dream about and what was it really like?” from a Russian forum.
- “I wanted to have a romantic candle-lit dinner…seemingly had watched too many movies. But it was as follows: on my birthday, a huge bouquet of roses, gilded watch. He asked my hand in marriage officially, not only me but also my parents”.
- “I’d always dreamed that my “prince” would make a proposal in romantic settings, with candles or at the nature (at starlight night)… I thought that my “future husband” would create an incredibly romantic atmosphere to ask my hand in marriage (thought it would be like in movies, how naive I was)…I imagined myself entering a flat lit only with candles…there is path of rose petals on the floor…I walk on it…enter a room…there is a served table…wine…candlesticks…my “prince” comes up to me with a beautiful rose and gives it to me…Certainly I don’t understand what is happening…then we have dinner… suddenly he bends one knee, takes out a box with a ring and tells me how much he loves me and asks if I agree to be his wife…I cry with happiness…and whisper “yes”. He puts the ring on my finger, kiss…”
How it really was:
The third day of acquaintance. Winter. We were standing on a staircase to warm ourselves. Hugging, talking. He said: “Shall we marry?” I replied: “Ok”
(then certainly I said to him that it was a wrong way to say a thing like this, it shouldn’t be said so simply and so on…he agreed with me…but the moment can’t be returned already…”
- He said: “Let’s marry. Though you understand that it doesn’t change anything for me, I decided all about us long time ago, I can’t imagine my life without you”. And I don’t want it to be this way. I want romance, proposal, bent knee. And it can’t be otherwise. Though I understand that it is probably a caprice. But still waiting. I don’t want to marry without that. I married the first time in the “well, let’s marry” manner. And the second time is difficult by itself and I can’t do it without any beautiful deeds from his part. And it vexes me that he can’t do this little thing for me…Though I understand that it is not like him. Well, probably, I should go to a psychiatrist. :)”
Well, what do you think??? Probably, it is indeed what women want???
Another way is to make a proposal in the family circle of a girl. It is an old tradition – to ask a girl’s hand in marriage not her, but her father. Many know and remember this tradition, but few follow it in life. While it is very important for parents to know who the future husband is, if he is reliable, sincere and so on.
I can list many more ways: to book a room for newly-wedded in a five-star hotel; to shout the words of love and make a proposal at the most crowded square; to take her to the jewelry’s store, ask to choose a ring and give a meaningful look; to talk her friends to call her all day long and say: “my congratulations, you are going to marry Kevin, aren’t you?”, and then ask her: “It is true: will you marry me?” and so on.
It can be done in a romantic, humorous, old-fashioned or solemn way. If you have no ideas, feel free to ask me! :)) We’ll invent something together!
To make sure everything will go smooth:
Before your trip to Russia you should think carefully over how it will be: to choose a ring, to put a beautiful suit in a suitcase (you aren’t going to make a proposal in this T-shirt, are you?), etc.
How to choose rings was the topic of one of my previous articles: http://www.chanceforlove.com/articles/russianbrides/5043
and generally it contains a lot of helpful information. I’ll tell you only about the last incident. It was unsuccessful and so it deserves special attention.
A man brought a ring that was his family relic. It is romantic, isn’t it?
Naturally, the ring was without any papers. He didn’t declare it on the customs form. The ceremony of giving a ring, declaration of love, marriage proposal. The happy groom goes home. In a while a couple busted up and the engagement was broken. The groom demanded his ring back (remember, it is a family relic).
The frustrated bride didn’t want to owe anything to him and brought the ring to the post-office. But it turned out that she couldn’t send any jewelry without papers. “What if you have stolen it? Or it has some cultural value, belongs to the funds of the country and prohibited exports?” said post office officials.
The girl felt offended: “Among other things, I was called a thief!”
And in addition, her former fiancé added fuel to the fire: he accused her of having planned everything beforehand.
The moral is: if you take jewelry, state it in your customs declaration. Only with this document you can take it back.
If you didn’t dare to make a proposal during your personal meeting, there are some distance ways.
Sometimes it is easier to make a proposal before the computer’s screen than in person. Let your fancy help you: you can be either a cowboy or a romantic. By the way, you can write her a real letter on a beautiful sheet of paper. It is very romantic! But nowadays post office works:
b) unsafe, such proposal may not find the addressee.
No noble thing can be done without risks. :)
You can use e-cards and pictures. There is a huge number of them in the Internet!
But! You shouldn’t make a proposal by correspondence if you’ve never met. I think it goes without saying?
The second way to make a distance proposal is:
If your future bride doesn’t speak English, you can’t do without an intermediary, i.e. a translator. Otherwise you can turn it into a farce. :) Well, a bit of humor can vivify your proposal. Learn basic phrases of marriage proposal in Russian. I think it will put a smile on your bride’s face and she will be touched!
Plan thoroughly the course of the conversation. Notify your girlfriend beforehand that you will call her to have a serious talk so that she can be prepared for the important conversation. It would be nice to organize the delivery of flowers at the same time, for example a chic bouquet of roses in the form of a heart. On one end of the line there is you with romantic words and on the other end – she with her arm around the bouquet of flowers.
And here we switch smoothly to the third long-distance way:
Through an intermediary
Here there are as many alternatives, as your fancy can offer you.
- Courier with flowers and an enclosed note
- Courier with one rose every day. And then, eventually, a marriage proposal.
- Declaration of love on the video film
- Order a love song at the local radio station and let the whole city know about your love
- Order a puzzle that she will make and see “Will you marry me?”
Now your turn. Do you know any outstanding stories about marriage proposals?
Would you like to discuss it?
|#1 bitista young (canada) at 2006-09-28|
|i need drastic help and ideas she said that if i dont get at least half a page she will say no|
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