In the previous issue I published the article “Does age matter?”
At the end of it I offered to discuss what age difference you consider to be ideal? As always I received a lot of letters. Here are some of them. Let’s read them!
Dear Slava and Irina Chernova,
I must congratulate both of you for the face up-lift of your previous newsletter. It is excellent. The contents of the inbred culture, the psychological behavior, the home economic stability and the topic of age difference and Russian women expectation of a happy life, and husband role in addition of breadwinner.
As a client I would expect to be able to communicate with the perspective lady as I am doing it with you. So least I expect the lady to speak some English or Spanish since communication is not only necessary but also essential for the survival of the relationship. Thus, I believe personally believe that learning Russian is a most as respect to the other partner.
In my case, I have been a successful Civil Engineer, retired, with dual citizenship U.S.A and Panamanian, and economically I do not have to worry for the rest of my life. In addition I have two patents registered in the U.S. and Panama that if accepted by the Panama Canal Authority it would make me extremely wealthy.
However, I have to consider two drawbacks,
1. I was born on June 6, 1937, which will make me 69 years old in 2006.
2. I have a phobia problem of flying, which will make my travel difficult, an alternative will be for the lady to visit me with all trip paid for herself and a child, to see the area where she will the conditions and surroundings she will live, an analyze if I meet her expectations.
Because being for many years as a swimmer and martial arts, without smoking or drinking have kept me physically fit people believe I am in my fifties. However; I have to be realistic and forsee, what would happen to the family is something happens, to me. This is a serious consideration.
Here in Panama is a very small group of ladies married from Russia and Ukraine leading a very happy life, of what I have observed. From professor at the Technological University to a hairdresser, from a wife of sauge company to an operatic singer. A russian lady became a widow and she is handling a gymnasium, etc...
I thank you both of you, Slava and Erina for permitting me to communicate with you.
Felipe A. Len-Rios
Thank you for your warm letter.
Your reflections about your age and responsibility that it involves are very sensible and mature. But I wonder why notwithstanding all that you want to have a wife from Russia! :)
First of all I should say that your requirements (knowledge of the language and age) narrow the circle of search greatly. But it is surmountable. There are thousands of web-sites in the Internet and I am sure you will find your Mss Right.
The problem concerning your fear of flying is more complicated. It is next to impossible for Russian women to get a visa to America. So it is troublesome to develop relations for those who try to avoid flying. Young girls can get students’ visas (with great difficult though), and women of middle age that has nothing to hold them in the country and moreover by a man’s invitation have a very little chance…
I would recommend you to use the search system and seek women from 45, who know English at least on the level of 3-5. The younger a woman is, the more carefully read her profile and her age preferences.
Any way, I wish you to find the one that will brighten your life! And we will try to do everything possible for it to happen.
I like what the people on the site have said of the age factor women to men 5-10-15 years difference in age.
I am an Àussie so even at 48 I am true believer that a younger woman does keep you young, I personally go out with a Ukraine girl whom is 28 and never ever a problem, so I really think the age thing is mostly all in the mind.
No way in this world would I ever consider a woman my own age! After 34 years old in a woman I am out the exit -stage left as they say and in a hurry.
Aussies as a rule have a very strong preference too much younger women and it seems to work just fine from what I’ve seen.
The Russian /Ukraine girls yes as in style, loyalty, class (well they leave ours for dead and their ideals are far more solid than Aussie girls.
I don’t know about all the perfect match love thing (I think a lot of that comes from watching to many soapiest on TV - you start to believe me after awhile) as I think love grows and it seems that it is to take care of itself, treat a woman with care and you respect that you would expect yourself and well 3/4 of the battle is over.
Somebody once said to me ohh language barrier etc its to hard --what a lot of rubbish its simple you just teach each other as we have.
It really is so simple after just a bit of persevering, it all comes together.
The girls from Russia /Ukraine yes they are great stuff and they do know how to look after oneself far more than what we could get from our materialistic women in this country (whom expect it all on a silver plate and more until your earning capabilities are gone - still they cry for more!) best thing I’ve ever done is to team up with a very lovely Ukrainian girl.
A young wife is capable of keeping you young – it is the obvious argument of those who choose a woman much younger than they are. It is understandable! :) When you wake up in the morning and see a young classy woman by your side, you think that life is beautiful! :)
However, I am ready to dispute some points.
First, I don’t agree that the language barrier is rubbish. If your lady has the highest point of English knowledge in her profile, she will need just to get used to fast speed, get into the local dialect and practice more. That’s really simple!
And if your chosen one doesn’t know the language at all?
She wakes up in the morning and says with terrible accent: “Good morning, dear!” and that’s everything she is able to say. She doesn’t understand what they speak on TV, what neighbors say, what you say to her. And it takes a lot of patience and time to improve the situation. Remember how long babies learn how to speak!
And if your chosen one is over 40, her education will go more slowly.
It is well-known fact that the younger a person is, the more easily he learns.
So I wouldn’t have so light-minded attitude to this problem.
The second point - "I personally go out with a ukraine girl who is 28 and never
ever a problem".
While you are going out there are no problems at all! It is the happiest time that can be compared only with honeymoon. Problems can arise later when you live together and have common household, romance disappears. It happens not only with couples that have big difference in age. But of course it may never happen (I wish it to you wholeheartedly!).
I just think it is too early to say this kind of phrases. If you wrote: “I’ve been married to a Russian woman for 5 years, she is 20 years younger than me and we’ve never had problems because of age difference!” – that would be a good argument.
Your letters are splendid! I placed them in the discussion area, which is right under the article.