Spring is the best time for planning summer vacations. I am often asked: how much time should pass from the first letter till the first meeting? My answer is: no more than 6 months! And better 3-4. That’s quite enough to define if she is the right person or not, if she is worth flying over the ocean or not. :) And this first meeting can destroy all the doubts. The deeper your correspondence was, the bigger the chance that you will not be disappointed. So, let’s get ready for the travel:
Ya priglaShayu tebya v puteShestvie. I invite you to travel.
Hochesh puteShestvovat’ so mnoy? Do you want to travel with me?
Gde ti L’ubish puteShsestvovat’? Where do you love to travel?
Gde ti pobiVala? Where have you been?
Kouda ti hoTela bi syezdit’? Where would you like to travel?
Ya naznaChayu tebe sviDanie v PaRizhe! I date you in Paris!
Parizh – Gorod roMantikov! Paris is the city of romantics!
Ti Hochesh, chtobi ya priEhal k tebe, ili vibiRaesh neitRalnuyu terriToriyu?
Do you want me to come to you or you choose a neutral territory?
Ya tak hoChu poskoRee uVidet’ teBya! I want so much to see you as soon as possible!
Ya Bolshe ne hoChu predstavLyat’ tebya, ya hochu uVidet’ tebya!
I don’t want to imagine you any longer, I want to see you!
SCoro uVidimsya! See you soon!
|#1 Jeff Franco (USA) at 2006-07-21|
I am an unhappily married man that has recently met a beautiful young Russian woman on yahoo personals. We have been exchanging letters and pictures for about a month now and every letter between us has been more and more intimate. She is really focused on coming to the US to meet me and is going through trying to get a visa to come here. I am starting to feel bad that she is spending all this money to meet me, and I was hoping to build our relationship online for a few months before seeing her. She wants to come here within the next couple of months. As I mentioned I am married, so it would be difficult to meet her. I was thinking that I'll meet her in another city so I am not seen. I know what I am doing is not good, but I can't stop thinking about her and find myself looking at her picture and being with her. How can I maintain this relationship while trying to sort out what I want to do with my life?
|Author's answer: Dear Jeff,|
Thank you for sharing your concerns with us.
Jeff, I understand what feelings you must be experiencing at the moment but nevertheless I’d like to warn you against a possible case of scam. Of course, it’s very easy to fall in love with a person by
means of letter exchange when you get to know him or her with every new letter, but there is one thing in your story that makes me suspicious towards this lady. You say that she hurries to get a
visa to come to the States to see you. But it’s impossible for a single young woman to go to the USA. She can only do this having a fiancee visa. So, all her complaints for spending big sums of
money for making a visa to come to you may be just hints that she expects you to help her financially. Unfortunately very often it happens so that after a man sends big sums of money for making a visa, he never sees or hears from a woman anymore. By the way, very often it’s not even a woman, but may be a man or a group of people who hide behind a photo of a beautiful woman and lead the correspondence. So, think everything over once again before making any hasty steps that may influence your life.
|#2 Kevin (USA) at 2005-12-07|
|I'd be glad to learn the russian language..|
even tho, I need to pay!
I gotta do that.. I wanna learn it
and I'm serious about it..
With all my respect.
|Author's answer: Hello, Kevin!|
When I meet people that are willing to learn Russian, I feel deep respect to them. It is a brave deed, Kevin! The best way to learn a foreign language is to have a teacher who is a native speaker of the language and to take private lessons or study in a group. There are a lot of courses like this in the US, try to find some. Besides, most likely you can easily find Russian-American couples in the area where you live. I believe Russian women would be willing to teach you their native language! I wish you every success!
|#3 Larry (U S A) at 2005-11-11|
|It was suggested somewhere in one of adviseries to probably have 3 to 5 women to stay in contact with,until you can narrow it down to 1 or maybe 2 women.As of right now,I have not reduced my list.My question is,as you write to them and they write back to you.At some point you may become more interested in one and disinterested with others or they with me for any number of reasons.Please tell me,if you can the best way to end conversation with a lady.Because,it's not my desire to deceive or hurt any of these lovely ladies.I have not yet come to that point,because to be quite honest,the ones that I have been writing to,all seem to be very lovely women,both inside as well as outside.I must admit,I am enjoying writing to them,and I have even talked to one by phone several times.Any constructive advice would be appreciated.|
|Author's answer: Dear Larry,|
I would recommend you not to break relations before personal meeting. It often happens that you fall in love with a person by correspondence, but at personal meeting there is no chemistry. Our imagination about a person can differ greatly from reality. And pictures can play a trick on us. Unfortunately, you always should keep it in mind in long-distance relationship. It's nobody's fault, it is just the nature of a human being (a human being in love) to attach the best qualities to your chosen one.
But if you've already made your choice, there are many ways to say no without hurting someone.
First of all, always remember that you deal with a Woman. If you already managed to build some relations, order flowers for her! It is always touching and pleasant. If your relations are just starting, offer her to stay friends. It is the sweetest rejection I've ever met! It doesn't oblige to anything (a greeting cars on Christmas is welcomed) and at the same time shows that you like the woman.
Secondly, remember that you deal with a woman that seeks a husband. You shouldn't mention other women in your letters. It is better to avoid mentioning the reason of rejection, if it lies in another woman.
Write a letter in the past tense: "Our letters were sincere", "I read your letters with pleasure", "I've always understood that you are a wonderful woman". In the end of your letter wish her to find her special someone who will give her love.
Don't extend your letter. Let it be warm and laconic. Be a gentleman. Make the lady smile and say to herself: "He is a wonderful man. The woman he will choose will be a lucky one!" :)