Russian bride marriage problems

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Answering your letters

- Must I be officially married in order to apply for a Ê-1 visa in the USA?

You don’t have to be married in order to hand in documents. Ê-1 visa is also called “a fiancée visa”. According to its main condition the girl should make her mind to stay in the USA or leave for her country within 90 days from the day of arrival to the USA. Does she find that everything really meet her expectations? Does she really want to get married and stay in America for a constant living?

You know that it is almost impossible to make a tour trip to the USA for single girls. The Embassy finds different reasons to refuse in a tour visa. Their real concern is connected with the girl’s possible desire to illegally immigrate to the USA.

Imagine if you were your fiancée in the following situation: she is to leave everything that she has and move to the country she has never even seen! Perhaps, she won’t be able to adapt to its climate, food and way of life… But she will learn about it only upon visiting your country. It is impossible to foresee all the problems she may face…

In 90 days your girl is either to leave the country or prepare the documents about your marriage. I can tell you that the former case is very seldom. Young married couples have a lot of misunderstanding (say, owing to your language barrier) but if they love each other, family life teaches them to meet each other halfway.

There is another possibility: you get married in Russia first and then apply for a Ê-1visa. But in this case the procedure is gonna be harder. Your wedding concerns double. Besides, you are to fill in more forms to get married in Russia.

Whatever, both variant of applying documents for a fiancée visa are easy and legal.

Russian smiles-2

I got the following response to my article about smiles:

«I just read your newsletter.  It made me smile (Smile).  I think you wrote it for me (Laughing).

Let me summarize what I got out of it.  Someone who smile's for no apparent reason to the person they are smiling at looks like an idiot (Smile).  Russians need a very clear reason to smile.  Things are bad now so there are not many reasons to smile. However Russian most join the global economy so they to must learn to smile like idiots when there is no apparent reason to smile (laughing)

I sensed your words a long time ago because you see; my Polish grandparents raised me till I was 5 years old. This is why I usually write the word (Smile) and do not make the smiley face :)

However I think your professor has missed the target.  The real concept of the smile goes back to achievement not stupidity or insincerity even though it is true some people use the smile for other reasons that are not sincere.  

It is a well-known physiological fact and way most business people and athletes are trained in the USA that a positive attitude is essential for goal achievement.  If you can visualize the goal you have more certainty for achievement.  Visualized goals are always positive and should bring satisfaction.  Frowning or a Stoic expression does not much so much mean seriousness as it means letting in the possible thought that you may fail.  This thought must be crushed.  As you have said in another sentence the concept of failure "is forbidden".

"Do not take yourself so seriously because your life is really no different than those that have come before or those that will come after.  It does not matter if you a person of great wealth and achievement or a beggar on a street.  When you look back into human kind the differences will not be noticeable."

So when strangers smile to strangers it is not so much two idiots smiling at each other with a false sense of joy, good feelings or insincerity.  It is more like this.

"We are all in this world together and our human kind wants to achieve great things.  I wish you well in your part and encourage you to keep going not matter how hard it is.  Please do not give into the frown for it will be the first step backwards into failure.  I pass this on to you even though I do not know you and probably never will know you.  You are my brother in this world and we will carry on together in our separate ways".

In fact, I know well that if two people are smiling at each other without reasons they are certainly not idiots:) People that work with foreigners for a long time start to understand their worldview and national features. However, the majority of Russia people have never met foreigners. The viewpoint of that Professor is very common here. I hear many times from foreigners that Russians are gloomy because they don’t like smiling. It is wrong! :) Just our nations have differences and we need to be aware of them in order to understand each other better!

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