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Don’t humiliate women!

Just so: don’t humiliate!

There are things that are impossible to change: this awful term “mail order brides” or the stereotype opinion that the economical situation in Russia is really bad and people live poorly and therefore women are ready to marry even a devil for the sake of a sweet life in the West.

But if you are looking for your soulmate, your other half, your love, throw such thoughts away out of your mind! Yes, most likely, she isn’t rich. It is quite possible that she earns a month what you earn a day. But she is a personality with her own dreams, values and dignity, looking for love.

It was a letter of one American man to a Russian lady that made me write about it. Here is the FULL letter:

“Please tell me more about yourself. I make $200,000/yr US$

Dave”

And here is what the lady answered to him:

“Hello David,

Thanks for your letter but I believe I wouldn’t be interested in a man who tells nothing about him and his personality except the money he makes. You see I am not interested in meeting a bag of money. I am interested in the personality. I am looking for a serious correspondence. So I came to the conclusion that you are not my type. I wish you good luck in your further search.

Regards,

Larisa»

Women are vulnerable. You are choosing Russian women for their family values and at the same time trample on their feelings, mocking at these values.

You will say that we just came across a foolish man and we shouldn’t draw conclusions from his letter. But there are too many letters of this kind. Someone boasts of his income, someone considers the country of residence to be his only merit worth of mentioning in the first letter:

“Hello,

Are you still looking for a future partner from the UK. If so let me know by return.

Cheers

Martin”

Impersonal letters, as though written by a robot. Do you think women can’t feel it?

“Hello, Martin.

Thanks a lot for your note, but I should say that I am not interested in a man who is not able to write more than one sentence to make a girl interested in him. Having read your letter, I have only two thoughts about you. Either you have sent your letter to thousands of women and you are waiting who will respond to you or you are lazy to write about yourself more than one sentence. Anyway, I do not want to correspond with you.

Sincerely,

Tatyana”

“Hello, Martin.

Thanks a lot for your message.

Why did you decide that I am looking for my partner in the UK? I am looking for him all over the world.

But I do not know whether it would be you. I know nothing about you except that you are from the UK, but it does not mean that you have all the qualities I am looking for in a man... (enumerates the qualities she is seeking)...If you are such a person, I think that we can continue our acquaintance if you are not I wish you good luck in you search

Elena.”

There are also many letters that start without a woman’s name or, even worse, addressing another woman.

Let’s abandon this shopping vocabulary, when some people consider other ones as goods.

They say that God divided each human being into two halves and scattered these halves all over the world. Someone was destined to be born in Russia, someone in America, or France. But all these people are made of the same “dough”. Remember about it when you sit down to write “hello!” next time.

What do you think about it?

Looking forward to your letters!



Your comments:

#1 David (US) at 2006-06-27
From what i read about these so called "MEN" they are not. What ever happened to the days where women were treated with respect and dignity? How dare a man disrespect a woman like that. I am no prince charming but people have feelings. Now i just recently started this service and i hope that i can find the woman i meant to be with on here. But one thing is for sure i will not say rude things as do these other men. What i do know is that Men have taken a turn for the worse. You see the women lose in the end because some jerk decides he will waste her time. Men like this should be warned and then banned if they continue so that the men whom are truly in this for Love can get to the women seeking the same thing. I only pray i find the woman i am meant to be with. So i hope that this website will work out. And in case this gets posted or not i just wanna say to all the women out there "No matter what you should be treated like queens find a man that will love you endlessly and for all of enternity. Do not settle for less you are much to great for that" and to all the men that are genuine keep being the way you are. And just maybe it will spread.
-David
Author's answer: Hello David!

Your words are like music for ears of all the women of our country especially. Here the disrespectful attitude to women is as nowhere else noticeable, I'm afraid. May be that's why such a great amount of beautiful feminine and family-oriented women have addressed their attention to foreign countries, to those man who will appreciate them and may become a real support till the end.

Unfortunately even here they very often get disappointment in the face of those men who seem to follow some sudden impulse to start the correspondence but after a month or two of the letter exchange they decide that that doesn't suit them and end the correspondence abruptly without explaining anything to a lady. Unfortunately there are men who hardly realize that they were giving hope for happiness to a woman by their letters. I wish that there were more men-members of our site who think the way you do and who will make our women happy and get the same in return.
#2 Peter Finch (United Kingdom) at 2005-10-22
Dear Slava,

I too am shocked at the disgraceful way some people write to your ladies. Such an approach only reflects ignorance and arrogance of the men concerned. At the same time, I find it rather sad that they are under the illusion that every woman can be "bought" by the size of a man's salary and/or the country in which they live.

I have travelled extensively around the world and extensively so in the USA. I currently live in the UK. Anyone who boasts that either country is the "promised land" is wrong. Yes, everything is relative. We probably have a better standard of living relatively, but for most people, making ends meet is still a struggle, unless of course, you are very wealthy.

Unfortunately many developed countries have become money obsessed and you are only "somebody" if you have wealth. I used to be a Hotel general manager and EVP and have worked in many developing countries and one fact I found in common to all. The people were generally friendly, warm and hospitable.

I have written to a number of your ladies and have been very impressed by their warmth and friendliness. They also appear to be sincere and genuine. None of them have ever asked me in writing or on the phone about what I own or what I earn. The two dificulties I am encountering are "language" and the phone lines to Ukraine. It seems impossible to get a clear line. Anyway, I'll keep on trying. :-)

I would also like to mention Slava, that not all dating sites are as well run as yours. The fact that your company interviews all applicants in itself roots out anyone who has the wrong motives for joining. I would confidently recommend your web site to anyone. I think it's excellent.

On the other hand, Slava there are many unmoderated foreign dating sites, where the situation is radically different. In fact things are so bad, that many women sit in internet cafes all evening/night and make their living out of conning men out of money. Many sites offer a service where you can "chat" with the ladies through instant messaging. Unknowingly I went on one of these sites and in just one night, four women asked me for money after having brief "chats"!!

Best wishes

Peter
Author's answer: Dear Peter,

Thank you for your letter us and your interest and comments to this problem.
Thanks to such letters I believe that the majority of men are like you! :)
But this week ladies got some similar letters, e.g. Martin keeps sending
letters with unchanged content in them.
Here is a recent example:

Sorry,
I will not send photos for the moment because I received a positive answer
from anther woman, and I will go and visit her soon. If nothing happens, I
will contact you and send the photos. Take care and be positive. B. (the
name is shortened)

It sounds like a lady is a some kind of commodity, which he can keep for
some time for him.
If one "dress" doesn't suit him for some reason he will come back for sure
and take another.
What feelings does this lady have towards this man?

I only hope that our words (Yours and mine) will be heard!

Irina,
Editor
www.chanceforlove.com



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