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It's one of those simple mysteries you never know if you can correctly answer, like the age-old question, ''Which came first, the chicken or the egg?'' or whether you can have your cake and eat it, too.
In the world of singles and dating, could kissing be better than sex?
Don't rush to a quick judgment and think I've finally flipped out. Soak it in for a second, and think back to your first kiss with someone special. (Like Spider-Man's upside-down kiss with Mary Jane!)
The thought that kissing can top sex sounds preposterous. Especially from a guy's perspective, since we are stereotypically wired for desire and conquest when it comes to the opposite sex.
When I presented this question to some friends, the responses were all over.
Some guys said kissing is better because good kissing does not ultimately translate into good sex.
Another disagreed, wondering how the two could even compare.
A third friend said it depended on the circumstances. Kissing could be better than sex, especially on a first date or at the end of a ''chase'' - you know, one of those nights at a bar when you meet someone for the first time, flirt and start to click.
In both of those situations, there are moments of anticipation and anxiety, wondering what it would be like to kiss the person beside you. You wonder about the appropriate (or inappropriate) time to move in for the kiss. Most guys will also have fleeting thoughts about what sex would be like with the person they are chatting up. But it's going to take some effort to get that far. It's not as tough to get a kiss.
Do you wait until the end of the date when you are about to say goodnight? (It's a very safe and typical plan, but one that can be seen coming from the moment you picked her up and moved in for a ''hello'' kiss and awkwardly got the side of her cheek.)
Or do you go with the ''Shock and Awe'' method when you are leaving the bar or restaurant, and pull her close and surprise her with a smooch when she least expects it. (Of course, that method is risky as it could lead to a face slap. But the greater the risk, the greater the reward!)
Once you get to the kiss, those first few seconds your senses are heightened and your level of confidence shoots out the roof. It may not go any further than that moment on that evening, but you've succeeded.
When it comes to sex, there is no element of surprise. No room for a quick recovery if you move in too quickly. There are different expectations, planned tactics and sometimes awkwardness in the bedroom . . . or on the sofa . . . or in the car. Sometimes alcohol is involved, making things fun for the short term but weird in the morning.
Simply put, kissing is a great indicator of intimacy. You can't really fake it - you either want to kiss someone, or you don't. You are either a good kisser or you aren't. You can fake intimacy during sex but you can't get away with it as easily during a kissing session.
So, what's the final answer? The chicken and the egg. Kissing wins at the start, but especially in a man's mind, sex can take the cake.
By Fred Gonzalez
McClatchy Newspapers
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