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Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a pleasant occasion, but for many single people it is only a painful reminder that there is a lack of love and romance in their life. A recent survey conducted in London, UK revealed that lots of people are single: in fact about half of Londoners between the ages of 20 and 59 seem to be unattached. Perhaps the intuitive powers of a matchmaker could be useful to pair people up, but some modern-day matchmaking services are using psychology as a more reliable way of determining who you should really be asking out on a date.
Looking for romance? Many online dating web sites are using psychology to help people find a partner. If you’re looking for love online, you will find that some web sites are turning to science. By visiting Nomorefrogs, eHarmony or Cybersuitors you will be asked to complete a psychometric test that will identify your personality traits. Tests on some of these sites are actually quite detailed – the test on eHarmony is comprised of 436 questions and asks for answers on a Likert scale ranging from 1 to 7, where you choose the amount you agree or disagree with the statement. The site also gives advice on how to initiate communication with a relationship prospect as well as counselling for married couples.
These dating sites are either founded by psychologists or work closely with them. Jane Spencer- Rolfe, who founded Nomorefrogs (www.nomorefrogs.com) seven years ago, says that she got her inspiration for the site after seeing how career recruitment companies use psychometric tests to find people their ideal career. She contacted a company that employs psychologists to create these tests, and they agreed to create one for her site that she could use to predict relationship compatibility. After a couple of months of validation work, where the psychologists assessed the test’s reliability and looked at whether it actually measured what it set out to measure, it was ready to be used on the site.
Credit: Jane Spencer-Rolfe
Web site Nomorefrogs uses psychometric tests to match potential partners. The assessment at Nomorefrogs is made up of 28 questions and looks at personality compatibility in key areas. “Two assertive people, for example, are not ideal in a relationship since you need a balance, but someone who is happy to express their feelings would need to find someone similar,” says Rolfe. The algorithm that analyses the test is also weighted, meaning that it gives more importance to traits that a person feels must be present in their partner.
It’s all very well to be scientific but is finding a partner really a science? Even though psychologists can study successful marriages and analyse the factors that make them work, romance takes chemistry. The reason that people often fall in love with people that are not right for them can be because biological factors can overpower the mental checklist of what you want in a mate.
Many biologists now agree that human pheromones – chemicals released by the body which give off a specific scent and which is unique for each person – play a big role in attraction. If the scent of a specific person is pleasant and sexy to us, it’s usually because their genetically-determined immune system is most different from our own. Even if you’re not planning on having children, the human body naturally selects a partner that will help you produce the most healthy offspring and propagate humankind.
So can online dating compete with nature? Short from asking people to submit a sample of their armpit sweat along with a photo, Rolfe admits that chemistry, or the ‘zing’ factor as she calls it, is hard to predict. What the site tries to do is find ‘likely compatibility’ and from there it’s up to people to make the effort and follow-up with their potential matches. “I like to compare it to buying a membership at the gym,” says Rolfe. “Signing up won’t make you fit, you have to put in the effort. Likewise, a relationship takes effort and communication to last.”
But it seems that some singletons prefer to stay single. PAB, a new acronym that stands for Professional and Busy, describes a growing group of young people who are focussed on their careers and don’t feel compelled to spend time finding a partner. So for those of you who will be spending Valentine’s Day alone, just think of it as the fashionable thing to do.
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