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Tan Yee Noh, 44, a creative director who runs her own design firm, met her husband when she was 37. A civil engineer, Pear Choo Boon is two years her senior. After a six-month romance, they married in 2001. They have no children.
In 2000, my cousin-in-law introduced me to one of his relative’s colleagues. I’ve had one serious relationship before. I’d gone on a few activities organised by the Social Development Unit but I quickly realised that they are not meant for a woman in her 30s.
The men, regardless of their age, would always make a beeline for the younger women. Older women like me were left standing in a corner. It made me feel lousy. I gave up after three activities.
When I was in my 20s, I never felt that love was an issue. I thought it would happen one day.
But before I knew it, I was already classified as a spinster. I felt that hope was diminishing.
But I wouldn’t say I was seeking love because I was comfortable with my singlehood. I was very independent and used to being alone. However, I did feel that life would be more complete if I had a companion.
So I went on the blind date with an open mind. Pear was said to be such a good guy that his type risked extinction. His colleague had been trying to play matchmaker for years. He would always say no until he could no longer put it off.
Apparently, he was never interested in any of the women introduced to him because they were all the quiet type, like him.
We went for a seafood dinner at East Coast Park with my cousin-in-law’s relatives on the first date. Afterwards, we strolled along the beach and chatted.
He is indeed a very honest and down-to-earth guy. I don’t like men to be too talkative and he fitted the bill.
To my pleasant surprise, he paged me the next day and asked if I would like to meet again for dinner. Things progressed smoothly and within about half a year, we were married. My friends were shocked by the news.
Unbelievably, it happened to me. Ten men out of 10 would go for a sweetie pie or a pretty face. I’m neither. He’s not good with words, so he has never been able to tell me what he sees in me. All he could say is: ‘I like your voice.’
Of course, we made an effort to make this work because we are opposites. I’m an extrovert and he’s an introvert. I love travelling, but he’s not adventurous. I’m flamboyant, he’s scientific.
Some girls might find him boring. At first, I did, too.
But no matter how bland a person seems, there will always be things you can love about him. You’ll never know if you write someone off based on looks or first impressions.
He is now my best friend, my soulmate.
Society is mean to unattached women – mostly behind their back – but nice to single men. I really hope people can be nicer to older single women.
It’s not as if they chose to be single. They should be acknowledged for what they are instead of what their age or marital status is. – The Straits Times Singapore / Asia News Network
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