The rent is due, the cable, light and phone bills need to be paid; you've got to buy food to cook; you want new clothes to go out with your man.
The only thing that you need now is.......the money to pay for it all. The question is, if a man and a woman are dating, or have agreed to enter a committed relationship, is the male financially obligated to take care of his girlfriend? There are some women who won't give a man the time of day if he ain't coughing up the cash on a regular basis. They want an allowance, or that special guy in their lives to foot every bill that they incur.
But is that his responsibility to take on all of his woman's own financial responsibilities in the name of love?
Marcus Laing, a 29-year old architect believes that no-one is obligated to anyone else unless they are married.
"Otherwise, people dating are merely friends exploring the opposite sex in an informal relationship. Now, if the man chooses to do such a favour as a sign of friendship, that should be up to him, especially if he is courting the woman with the intent of maybe one day marrying her. And if a woman has to ask a man to pay her bills, it is highly unlikely that any real man wants a woman that cannot manage her own expenses, to burden him as a wife," he continued.
"A woman should never have to ask for anything because if she wants it she should be able to get it herself. A man should only be a supplement to a woman and vice versa; you save the paying for stuff for kids and gifts. Besides, no man wants a woman that can't take care of herself, or one who is so irresponsible that she lives beyond her means and can't pay her own bills. That's a child, not a woman.
"But of course a man should shower his lady with nice friendly gestures of gifts, or rewards to show appreciation for receiving good treatment," he said. Single 29-year-old, Dominica, says that " if you treat a lady like a queen, you will get treated like a king. We can cook for him...that is automatic. But
that also depends on if he is nice. If he isn't nice, he is getting take out. Positive results comes from positive attitudes. If the attitude is positive, I think we can get a yes to whatever we want and vice versa, if it isn't, he's not going to last too long."
Tenera Carey, 31, who has been married for two years, said that it all depends on the kind of woman one wants to be.
"If she wants to appear needy, or is needy, then she'll present herself with her needs. I don't think there should be any obligations until marriage. Well... let me say... no financial obligations...until an engagement. That's when the couple should start saving TOGETHER toward their marriage/future. Any 'giving' before engagement should be based on the desire to help,out of love,etc....not out of obligation. Personally, I have never asked a man for money for any bill... except my brother or father."
Ken Campbell 32, an accountant has who has been married for over four years shares a similar view to that of Tenera, "No. He is not obligated until marriage, as there is no covenant. In marriage, I agree to provide for my wife and she takes care of me. This is done via different voluntary duties of cleaning, washing, cooking and just being a devoted spouse."
Eighteen-year-old Justan was brought up differently and believes in taking care of a woman in all aspects. "Yes I think that a man is financially obligated to take care of his woman, because it is a man's natural instinct to want to be in a position to treat and take care of a woman and give her the things that she desires to have in life.
"Just as a father is obligated to take care of his home and his family, a man dating around is only in the process of this. Therefore, I conclude that a man has all of these responsibilities and a woman's responsibility is to just lay in bed and relax. I will take care of her."
Anishka 24, who just got married last year believes that it is not mandatory for a man to shell out his hard earned money if he is just dating.
" I don't think he's obligated if they're not married. It would be nice of him to do so, but I don't think he is obligated."
College student, Javan Turnquest, 28 says that when women ask for money and other things it turns him off. "It is a turn-off because men like to feel like protectors and conquerors, and women who overstretch that boundary and make that first move kind of break the whole dynamics of relations between men and women. It shouldn't be that way in this day and age.
"This is 2006. Why can't I go to a woman and say 'hey, I need you to put gas in my car, or I expect you to buy me things.' They want to be independent in every other way but when it comes to money, they drop all of those values. At the end of the day, fair is fair."
Tony, 40 contends that "your ultimate self-reliance and independence is actually in God and not on any man or woman. If you are dating somebody, I don't feel that any woman should be asking any fellas for nothing. It depends on how you were brought up. When a lady asks a man for something, he wants something back. It is rare that men will adopt the philosphy that you will give anything without expecting anything in return. You know how men are, when it comes to the phyisical; whatever he touches and sees moves him and causes things to happen within."
Lisa Dorsett, 28, who has been married for over four years said, "If a guy is dating a woman, I do not think he is necessarily obligated to help her.....unless he wants to."
Maybe, she is right. In the end, it is his choice, isn't it?
By Vanessa C. Rolle, Guardian Lifestyles Editor
