You must find out that the woman you are writing to is real, a woman, and genuinely interested in writing to you!

This may seem very basic, but let me ask this question: how do you know you are writing to a real woman? How do you know she is genuinely interested in you? How do you know she is actually a woman?

Yes, there are men in Russia and throughout the FSU (Former Soviet Union) that troll around these free dating sites and marriage agency sites (sometimes they even have a business arrangement with some of the agencies!) and impersonate women! They may even find a girlfriend, wife or mistress to be in on the scam with them, and use their name and information for you to send them a Western Union money transfer.

The good news is that there are ways to verify your "woman" is indeed who she says she is. First, if you are using an agency, you can ask to see scans of her actual handwritten letters to you. If they refuse, there is probably something funny going on and you should move on to a different agency and a different woman. When you get these scans, you could even forward them to an independent translator and then compare this to the agency provided translation. This will show you if the letters have been altered. This is a very common practice—changing letters so that the relationship is facilitated even when there may not be much real feeling.

Another step you can take to protect yourself is to get the woman’s full contact details. If she refuses, move on. A serious woman will want to facilitate your communication. She will want you to call her, write her, think about her. A woman who is just out to scam you does not want you to be able to get in touch with her—you may be able to track her down or send her name to an investigator in the FSU. If the agency will not give you these details, you may decide to buy a few minutes of an interpreter assisted phone call (for this you will probably have to use the agency, since they will not wish to provide you her direct phone number). Then call her at the agreed upon time. Chat for a minute or two, then, when your time is almost up, ask for her phone number and make it clear you will call again. Then, call her again without the agencies help! This can be facilitated with another translator if needed—do not use the agency translator a second time. This is important also because it will provide you with the impressions and advice of a second Russian-speaking person.

During your phone calls with her, ask questions and even ask questions you have already asked in your letters. If it seems like this is the first time she has heard many of these questions, you should dig a little deeper—you are basically trying to verify that she is seeing the letters exactly as you have written them, and that they have not been altered.

Once you have her full contact details, send her something in the mail. This could be a small gift, photo, letter, anything. The idea is just to make sure she gets it. If she cannot speak good English, you may consider having the letter translated. Then wait for her to say that she received your surprise in the mail.

You could also do what is called a scam check. You use a gift delivery company to send her a rose, or candy, champagne, anything. Ask them to take a photo of her receiving your gifts. If she refuses, it may be because she is really a man! If she puts on a nice dress and looks very happy in the photo she is probably genuine.

Does she answer your questions? If she is not answering your specific questions, but only seems to write in general terms, it is very possible she is using a series of pre-written letters. How often is she writing to you? If you are getting a letter from her every day, watch out. You need to wonder (and ask) what she does all day—it would appear she has her own computer and a lot of time on her hands. Most women in the FSU do not have this kind of time, nor the means to buy her own computer.

In her letters is she very suggestive? If she is using sex talk this is a very bad sign. She may be real, indeed, but is probably just trying to scam you. The same goes for if she is sending you photos constantly, or if in her profile she uses half-nude or bikini type photos.

Also, a Russian woman will NOT profess her love for you after just a few letters. To her way of thinking, you are not even in a "real" relationship yet. Not until you come and meet in person will this opinion change. If she is telling you she loves you and you are necessary for her, beware! She is setting you up for a scam. Do yourself a favor and move on.

What kinds of questions is she asking you? Is she trying to find out what you are like? Does she want to know about your goals, your hobbies, how you spend your time, what your family is like? A real woman will want to know all this and more.

These are just some basic steps that I recommend you take to ensure you are writing a real woman who is genuinely interested in you. Please do not just pay your money and take your chances; I have seen too many men get swindled by taking this approach. You can be successful in this process; I can help you. But you do have to be very careful.

By Joseph Carducci

www.HowToMarryARussianWoman.com

ImmigrationHelp@MoscowMail.com

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